Last fall, I directed your attention to a fabulous blog that chronicles gloriously tacky weddings worldwide. I recently decided to take a look again to see what’s been going on.
Wow.
My girls love the Shrek movies, but if either of them decides to have a Shrek wedding, I’m going to have a problem with that. Especially if one of them gets green body make-up on my mother-of-the-bride dress.
But, it could be worse: One of my girls could have a wedding in which her groom dresses as the Winter Fairy Pimp.
Even worse, how about a Goth wedding? So help me, I’m not going to dress like Morticia Addams, no matter how much one of my precious darlings asks me.
But what will I do if one of my girls wants to marry a redneck and her wedding is camouflage themed? Can you imagine the cake topper — a taxidermied bird??? And where would we find a tractor to convey the bride to the ceremony? I wouldn’t even know where to find bales of hay for the guests to sit on.
Ahhh, here’s just the wedding for my trampoline-loving younger daughter — a circus theme! Take a close look at the bride’s dress, which is made of balloons.
There’s always the S&M wedding… I am trying (and failing) to imagine myself wearing bondage gear as the mother of the bride. And what in the hell would Pete wear? Leather pants and maybe a choke collar?
There’s lots more to peruse, if you’re looking to kill some time today.
Luckily, the chances are that my girls aren’t going to get too out-there with their weddings. I think it’s a safe bet that one is going to want something like this:
… although I can promise you that we’re not going to buy her a prince.
And it wouldn’t surprise me if we had one of these too:
I could kinda go for that.
Yeah, these weddings might be expensive, but at least they won’t end up on a tacky weddings website.
At an S&M wedding, Pete would have to be in leather shorts. Unless, you know, it was an outdoor, winter, S&M wedding, then maybe he’d break out the leather pants.
What I wanna know is, at an S&M wedding, where do they put the rings?
By: alison on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 9:06 am
Wow. Just….wow. Some of those are crazy. What I really want to know is - how do you make a dress out of balloons? And do you have to stand up all night in it? Because…wouldn’t they pop? : )
By: bdaiss on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 11:26 am
each one of these was tackier than the next. I love it!
By: paperdiva on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 11:51 am
Ha! I’ve been to a few tacky weddings in my time-like the one where the groom & crew wore Packer cumberbunds and bow ties. They had the game playing on TV sets they’d carted into the reception hall. The bride wore white-and the couple’s 13 year old daughter was the maid of honor.
Good times.
By: melissawest on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 12:34 pm
Dear god! I made the mistake of viewing the camo weddings page while eating yogurt. I almost threw up in my mouth.
By: Michele P on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 1:06 pm
Lawdy there’s a whole lot of crazy out there!
By: Fannie on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 1:47 pm
LOL!! I loves me a tacky weddin’!
By: alex on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 1:59 pm
Thanks to you, I have seen this site (twice, now). And I LOVE it. Nothing cheers my butt up like a tacky wedding. And that Shrek wedding is unbelievable. Thanks again for making my day.
By: Marijean on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 2:11 pm
I stuck to the simplistic - dress, black bridesmaids dresses, black and white tuxes.
The S&M is gross but hey - whatever keeps you together. The camo is ahem, odd.
By: Skywalker on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 2:15 pm
Okay part two - if you go through the first entry page of that blog it shows Juanita Bynum - famous televangelist also famous for having her ex abuse her in a hotel parking lot. Ahem, odd is to say something nice.
By: Skywalker on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 2:24 pm
The beach wedding looks the most romantic.
By: mrs. g. on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 3:30 pm
Oooooh, Jen. When I think what I put you through with my first marriage. Kelly green? Satin? Short in front and long in back? Huge ass puffy sleeves? My only plea is, it was 1992!
(Really. So. Very. Sorry.)
By: Lori Anderson on Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at 5:24 pm
O….M….G!!!!!! It’s a reminder that the “perfect wedding day” isn’t the same for everyone!
By: Kirstin on Wednesday, May 13, 2009
at 12:46 pm
Good grief. I can’t believe people would actually do those things. Crazy!
By: Jaina on Wednesday, May 13, 2009
at 4:59 pm