Quick. Grab your credit card. It’s time to go shopping.
Gwyneth has been generous enough to share another must-have on her website. We should all plan to buy it.
It’s a sweatshirt.
An embellished sweatshirt.
An exclusive embellished sweatshirt.
That costs $845.00.
And it looks like something you’d get at Chicos for one-tenth that. And I think they require you to provide proof of AARP membership in order to wear it, although it appears that Gwyneth is not so discriminatory.
This is also called the statement sweatshirt. I think what it’s stating is that the wearer has someone to do her laundry for her, because this item cannot be thrown into the wash with the dirty towels and the kids’ filthy smelly soccer gear.
But! You’ll be pleased to know that this exclusive embellished sweatshirt is versatile – according to goop, the shirt “works with denim jeans, switching to a pencil skirt for evening.” Well, that’s a relief. I was worried that it wasn’t going to go with everything in my closet.
The exclusive embellished sweatshirt is made from 100% cotton. In India. There’s no word on the exact type of cotton or the sewing conditions in India, so I can’t report on those details. I do have it on completely imagined authority that the cotton is organic and watered with purified holy water from a secret glacier in the Himalayas, while the garment workers in India are certified yogis who meditate while sewing and start each day with 10 sun salutations.
If a month’s worth of groceries is a bit outside your budget, Old Slavy has not-so-exclusive embellished sweatshirts for $20-30. They don’t have Gwyneth’s official stamp of approval, but they’re also machine wash instead of dry clean only, so I think that makes up for it. Also, given that this is Old Slavy, I think we can all assume that the garments are made from seriously not organic cotton by child laborers under decidedly not meditative conditions.
Or you could — I don’t know, I’m just brainstorming here – just wear a plain old sweatshirt and add a blingy necklace to it. Or not. It’s a free country. We can all embellish (or not) as we desire. That’s not written into the Constitution (yet).
Talk to me. What do you think about this sweatshirt? Cost and laundry services notwithstanding, would you wear some variation of it?