Remember that predicted worldwide peanut butter shortage last year that had the peanut butter fans in Jenworld in extreme hoarding mode last fall*? It appears that this year we’re facing another epic crisis.
Bacon, y’all. Bacon is going to be in short supply next year.
Here’s how it’s going to shake out:
The U.K. National Pig Association is warning that Europe will face a pork shortage in the next year, due to “shrinking sow herds.” This is a trend that is being seen all over the world.
The shortage is due to worldwide crop failures that have led to a sharp increase in the cost of pig feed. Clearly I must be ignorant because I thought that pigs ate just about everything … or at least that’s what my multiple readings of Charlotte’s Web have taught me over the decades. By my reckoning, couldn’t farmers be feeding their herds table scraps? And, for bigger farms, couldn’t they get scraps from, say, restaurants?
Anyway, expensive feed leads to farmers selling off herds rather than pay to feed them, which leads to less bacon in stores, which leads to less bacon on my plate or in my chocolate. It’s a whole domino effect, which should be a good reminder about just how small our planet is and how everything is interconnected.
We don’t eat a lot of the pink meat here, as two members of Team Jenworld eschew pork for moral reasons and one of us likes her arteries unclogged and her ass a little smaller thankyouverymuch. That said, I do consider bacon to be an essential part of any diet, even if only in small amounts. Vegetarians and vegans and fans of kewt widdle animals, feel free to disagree all you want, but I firmly believe that bacon makes nearly everything better.
Mac ‘n’ cheese? Good.
Mac ‘n’ cheese with bacon? Better.
Baked potatoes? Good.
Baked potatoes with bacon, plus mushrooms sauteed in bacon grease? Much better.
Dark chocolate? Good.
Dark chocolate stuffed with bacon? Better.
Buttered bread? Good.
Bacon butties? Excellent.
Caramelized bacon? DA BOMB.
Unfortunately, unlike peanut butter or toilet paper, stockpiling bacon presents a bit of a challenge, in that my capacious pantry and closets aren’t worth a damn for fresh bacon. Only a fridge or freezer will do and for hoarding purposes, which eliminates our fridge entirely, as I only buy local bacon that’s not laced with nitrates and nitrites, so it has a much shorter fridge life.
Still, while we don’t have a chest freezer for extra storage, we do have the freezer in our large American side-by-side fridge, which is enough for me to buy, say, five or even ten pounds of bacon and store it for the coming Hard Times. Rumor has it that we’re going to have another tough winter and I’m not going to face it without an ample supply of bacon for snowy morning breakfasts.
What about you? Do you love the pig? Will you hoard bacon?