The view out the back windows of the Jenworld living room.
On Sunday evening near dusk, one of my friends and I were sitting in the Jenworld living room, getting caught up on life. My friend E was facing the windows that look out to the backyard, when suddenly she sat up straight and started yelling about some sort of creature in the backyard. Pete and I perked up and we all moved to the window and glass door to take a look.
E tried to describe what she’d seen and where she’d seen it, but what she was saying didn’t make sense. I assured her that she probably had seen a deer, as we have far too many of those white-tailed fuckers who view my gardens as their own personal salad bar. E in turn assured me that she had not in fact seen a deer and that she sure as shit knew what a deer looked like. I was dubious.
E described the creature as fluffy, white, and low to the ground and said that it waddled, at which point she demonstrated some mean waddling skillz of her own. She also pointed out the direction from whence it had waddled and to where it had gone. Pete and I started guessing other animals: cat, dog, possum. No, no, and, no, E assured us.
At this point, E suggested that we go outside and investigate. By we she meant not her because her ass was staying inside where it was safe.
Pete, “Who’s we, kemosabe?”
Me, “Have you ever seen a horror movie? Because this is exactly how they start off. Do you want to be the first person to die? In fact, that’s a great idea: Why don’t you go out there for us all? I’m sure whatever it is is in the mood for Cuban tonight, chica.”
After another moment of dithering, Pete decided that he would investigate and went off to get his shoes, with me telling him, “Get some sort of weapon, will you?” I don’t know what kind of weapon I thought he’d produce but I felt very strongly that if he was going to die on our behalves, that he should at least put up some sort of fight.
While Pete was getting his shoes and his shiv/club/brass knuckles/whatever, E started shrieking again while gesturing frantically, “There it is! There it is!”
And sure enough, there it was, at which point, I started screaming and hollering too. I can’t recall what I said, but I do remember that the F-word came out of my mouth at least a dozen or more times.
Photo courtesy of Google Images, because there was no way I was going outside to take a photo.
It was a white skunk y’all.
I found this photo on Google. What we saw was fluffier and whiter.
The white skunk waddled off pretty quickly while we stood in the safety of Jenworld and loudly freaked out. So maybe it was a deaf white skunk? Because there was no way it didn’t hear me shrieking like a lunatic from inside the house just 15 feet away.
Needless to say, none of us went outside at that point, although Pete briefly considered it until I told him that the rest of his weekend would suck mightily if he had to sleep across town because he reeked of skunk and I wouldn’t let him in the house or even our ‘hood. We all kept glancing out the windows until the sun set, but never had another sighting.
Since Sunday, I have not stepped one toe into my backyard, even though I really need to get out there and beat back the weeds. I’ve been peering anxiously out the back windows, expecting another sighting of SasSkunk, but nothing yet. Nor have I smelled any evidence of its return. For all I know, it could be across town by now.
My hard-hitting Google research has since informed me that white skunks are definitely different from albino skunks. Both are rare, but not so rare that what we saw was an impossibility. I just hope that I don’t see one — or any skunk — again for a while.
Have you ever seen a white skunk?
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In one of our phases where we were trapping small furry critters that not only treat my garden as their salad bar, they come & go into my house as they please, we had set a live trap out overnight. I woke up at 3 am and could smell the neighborhood skunk and as only 3 am thoughts can go, convinced myself that it had gotten in the trap, gotten scared and sprayed the entire side of my house and since the windows were open, I was going to have to scrub everything, EVERYTHING inside and out of my house down and I was never ever going to get rid of the smell, that my house was ruined.
I finally was able to go back to sleep and when I woke up a few hours later, it was gone. Crisis averted.
I’ve never seen a white skunk and it just dawned on me that I haven’t seen a single skunk in the 6 years that we’ve lived in FL.
Possums? That’s another story. I never knew City Possums existed!
The only time I ever see a skunk is when they are road-kill. And maybe it’s due to VDOT cutbacks, but dead skunks seem to lie in the road for an inordinate amount of time before they are removed. I am not saying that I would want to have that job, but it must be somebody’s?? I have never seen a white skunk, dead or alive. I was happy to see a photo of one. Thanks!
Never seen a white skunk but I have experienced the horror of the threat of a skunk near my house and completely understand your unwillingness to venture into your yard.
Don’t go outside and don’t go in the basement. Standard horror movie rules. Also, the first couple to have sex is ALWAYS the first couple to die horribly.
First off, Zeghsy is right. You never go outside!
Second – that skunk is so cute! If you don’t bother it, it shouldn’t bother you.
We have beaucoup de skunks around our house. Raccoons too. But I’ve never seen a white skunk. Cool. Though I wonder what it was doing up and about. Skunks are usually nocturnal.
Gosh, why don’t exciting things like that happen while I’m visiting? And don’t feel bad about being frightened – even strong, brave firemen can be cowed by a skunk.
I’ve never seen a white one, but the skunks in my area are pretty sneaky and only come out at night and then I wake up to the stink in the dark and run around to shut the windows!
Skunk city over here. I often see at least one mosey-ing down our driveway when I come home after dark. They’ve never bothered us though. And skunks don’t particularly care for people, so if you head out of doors, said skunk will leave you be. Unless, you know, you take after it with a shovel. And if for some reason you do end up odoriferous: tomato juice. Most seriously. Nice crazy long bath (maybe two) in the stuff will remove the smell of skunk. And soaking people is much easier than soaking dogs.
Also – never heard of a white skunk, but sure looks awesome. I also may be slightly deranged. As a child, my favorite in my scratch and sniff Raggedy Ann & Andy book was the skunk…
Yikes! I’ve never seen a white skunk, but I’ve been smelling evidence of skunks somewhere in the neighborhood for months now. The other day my neighbor very casually mentions that oh, there is a whole family of skunks living under her porch. WT*?! To her credit, she IS having them trapped and moved, but I wish she had told me right away. I’ve been going outside after dark because I had no clue! Also: I don’t think my cat would take at all kindly to a tomato juice bath. He is under house arrest now.
A skunk! I never heard of an albino skunk, so I don’t think I’d have ID’d it so fast. Glad it waddled away without leaving you a “gift.”
There are a couple things that have me laughing here: SasSkunk, the who is “we” question, and the general freaking out. Not that I wouldn’t have been freaking out if I’d been outside.
We were camping with our one-year-old baby during a heat wave when I was 7 months pregnant. (Yes, you read that right.) My husband & I slept outside the minivan but we set up the porta-crib inside for the little guy and propped the door open. During the night, a creature came up to the van and peeked in… it wasn’t until after my husband shooed it away that we saw its backside in a flashlight beam that we realized we’d just narrowly escaped a spotted skunk.
You can imagine my level of freaking out.
But now? I’m singing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UejelYnVI3U
I sang it often when driving rural VA backroads.
I’ve never seen a white one either. We had a skunk as a regular evening visitor for several weeks, and they either don’t have good hearing, or they just ignore people. We had family gatherings out on the back porch to admire it, and scold it for digging in the lawn (well, okay, the weeds) for grubs. We would talk to it, quite loudly, and it completely ignored us. Unless they feel cornered, I’m sure they wouldn’t bother you. After all, people are a lot bigger than skunks. I actually think they’re really pretty for something in the rodent family.
This post almost made me pee my pants I laughed so hard! I’ve seen a whole lot more wildlife on my early morning runs this summer than I could ever have imagined, and not even seeing a wolf cross the road (about 100 yards ahead of me) has ever made me turn back – but yesterday morning I saw something that didn’t quite look like a cat, and when I got close enough to realize it was a skunk I turned around and ran away so fast Mr. Usain Bolt would’ve been impressed. I didn’t stop sprinting for nearly 6 blocks! Skunks are definitely horror movie material!
Never seen a skunk, white or otherwise. Not that common in Edinburgh.
I’ve never seen a skunk of any color. I’ve smelled them out in the woods, or along side the road but never actually came across one – lucky, I guess.
I have heard that white skunks don’t stink. Am I wrong? Probably. But I do know that you can get a pet skunk, remove the stink-maker, and it will turn white over time. And you can keep it as a pet. And I really want one.
We smell them all the time, but luckily have never seem a live one in our yard. It’s a good thing, because my dog is dumb enough to get sprayed.
Never seen a white skunk, but we smell them a lot here in Topanga. A couple of times, we’ve been sitting in the living room with the windows open and then suddenly…..whoooo! Something’s going down outside!
Actually, we’ve even been awakened in the middle of the night by that sensation! Them coyotes and them skunkses do shake it up nocturnally!
I never knew City Possums existed!
First possum I ever saw was in the courtyard of my dorm at college. It was fat and sassy from all the food waste from the cafeteria!
LOL, also love some of the gems in there: “those white-tailed fuckers who view my gardens as their own personal salad bar” is probably my favorite, but Pete’s question is also up there!
We see skunks all the time, but never a white one. I did call it when I was reading it, though! As soon as I heard “waddle” I thought “it’s gotta be a skunk!”.
One time I thought I was really funny and would mess with my son’s babysitter. I’m not a smart woman. Clearly.
Her dog got sprayed, horribly, and she had to close her home day care while they de-skunked the house. On the day we went back, I just happened to slip my son’s very realistic-looking skunk puppet into his baby bag, practically peeing myself at my wit.
You can imagine the scene that I arrived to at pickup. She was not pleased and, I repeat, I am not smart.
Never, but I do know firsthand that skunks are quite territorial and odds are you haven’t seen the last of it. I have actually successfully trapped a skunk in a Have A Heart trap and relocated it using my own car trunk. You walk up to the cage with a sheet and throw it over it–they won’t spray if they can’t see anything. I was skeptical, but skunk relocators are expensive!