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When we got back from vacation, we had three weeks’ worth of mail to sort through, including the annual end of summer catalog blitz, which is always the start of the deforestation in the name of fall and Christmas shopping catalog season. Since then, more have come in the mail, including one that requires some discussion here today.
I got a copy of Catalog Favorites: “A showcase of catalog best-sellers.” With a tagline like that, naturally, I’m curious as to what the American public is buying.
Carlashes, for one. I’ve never seen these in real life or even in a catalog, but if they’re in this catalog, they must be a bestseller, right? Admittedly, I live in a small town, so perhaps this new trend hasn’t reached central Virginia yet.
It would never occur to me to put flirty eyelashes on the Jenmobile and definitely not on Pete’s dadvan. What is the point? To make your car look hawt? To show that the driver is foxy? Or is this supposed to be funny, as in, cars don’t have eyelashes? I honestly don’t know.
The “classic” beer pouch pocket hoodie. I had no idea that this article of clothing was so iconic as to have a classic version. I guess this is for the person who finds holding a beer bottle too onerous. I agree, those 12 ounce longnecks are rather heavy. Not mentioned among this hoodie’s many features is the fact that the baggy gray cotton will also camouflage beer guts.
(Please note that I’m refraining from commenting on the redundancy of using both pouch and pocket in one item name.)
(Also, what is UP with all the damn hoodies in fashion in recent years? I don’t want a flap of fabric causing a hump on my upper back. If I’m chilly, I’ll wear a hat or scarf.)
A shirt that makes you look like a zombie, complete with lots of fake bloodstains. Oh, great. This one doesn’t surprise me as much, as it seems like the zombie trend is never going away. What perplexes me is WHY zombies are all the rage in the first place. I find them disturbing and creepy and wish this craze would go away.
The drum alarm clock. Another supposed bestseller. (I’m starting to think I should demand an audit. I don’t believe any of this stuff sells at such great volume as to be nationwide bestsellers.) I’d like to know who actually likes to wake up to the sound of crashing drums, “followed by a cheery ‘Good morning!’ and happy wake up tune”? Personally, if I woke up to that, I’d probably smack it across the room the first morning and possibly then drive over it with the car after that.
There are also a serious number of t-shirts, hats, mugs, and other items that have fart-centric jokes on them. I don’t tend to see these bestsellers around my town, but then again, I don’t spend too much time at Walmart. I’m assuming it’s a guy thing and I wouldn’t understand, but I need to reiterate, I really don’t understand.
But like I said, I live in a small town. Maybe all this stuff is selling like mad everywhere else in the U.S.? Are you seeing it where you live?
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I am still stuck on the beginning part, the part where you said you got a catalog that purportedly rounds up items from OTHER catalogs.
Good God.
Not around here. The crap those magazines sell convinces me the economy cannot be THAT BAD, right?
That magazine is like Sky Mall on steroids.
I kind of think I love it.
Kind of.
Carlashes…I saw some on a new VW Bug not too long ago. It was silly, but it worked with the car.
I happen to love all the zombie craze! My favorite part of the shirt is the “I love brains” pin! Funny stuff.
Trash Alou’s car has eyelashes! Otherwise I haven’t seen any of that stuff.
I don’t get the fart jokes or the zombie obsession either.
Jen, it is time for you to sign up for catalog choice!!! We receive very few catalogs now and it is really nice!
We saw carlashes! On a VW Bug, and I thought they were cute if you were a teenage girl with a first car. Emma says she’ll only get something like that if they make them in yellow.
Zombies and hoodies I can definitely do without. But especially zombies –I have several friends who think zombies are fabulous and hilarious, and I just don’t get it. I’ve even seen a “funny” movie that featured zombies (Rob insisted) but it just wasn’t very funny to me. Just gross and stupid, really.
We did the Catalog Choice a few years ago, and it helped, but you have to really keep up with it. I already have a job.
I get that catalog on a regular basis but with only 2 cups of coffee in me, I needed to look up carlashes (I read it as “carleashes” and wondered why anyone would put the car on a leash). I’ve yet to see a cute VW Bug with eyelashes, but I have seen the mustache on a car, and also the reindeer/Rudolph look at Christmastime. I don’t recall in which state these vehicles were sighted.
I think it is catalog of favorites from the company’s other catalogs. At least, that is the only thing that makes sense to me! (I’m on their mailing list, so I get them all.) And while I love a nice warm hoodie, I don’t want fake zombie blood on mine. Ick.
The beer pouch? Hmmmm… on a hot day, that might be a good place to keep a cold one but on a hot day I wouldn’t be wearing a sweatshirt! Perhaps a beer holster is the way to go.
I should clarify: I’ve only seen the mustache look and the reindeer look separately. Never together.
Pleading guilty to the zombie love. Well, maybe not love, but certainly like. I’m sure Cassi is referring to ‘Shaun of the Dead’ which makes my All-Time Favourite Movie list.
Yes, it was Shaun of the Dead. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore, Alison, but my husband would probably enjoy going to movies with you. Do you like the movie Brazil?
I don’t think I’ve seen any of those ‘best-selling items’ up here north of the border.
The catalogue website won’t work for us here in Scotland. When I click on any of the links, all we get is a message telling us the site isn’t available from our location and apologizing (as opposed to apologising) for the inconvenience. On the one hand I am slightly annoyed that I don’t get to see the zombie shirt, but on the other hand kind of flattered that Catalog Favorites (or Catalogue Favourites as it should say!) considers Scotland wouldn’t appreciate its wares!
My Sister- yes she lives in the C’ville area- drives a convertible VW yellow Bug with the car lashes…..looks super “cute”. Not my style- but I drive a small SUV.
You’re right! My teenage son got the set of drums alarm clock from grandma for his birthday. Cute to look at, obnoxious to the tenth power when the alarm goes off, and if I was the kind of mom who dusted in her kids’ room, I would say they are impossible to dust.
First: DAGNABIT! I have a card I meant to mail to you a bit ago and I have no idea where I put it. I was waiting until closer to your return so it wouldn’t be left sitting. Must find…
Second: The light weight hoodies are great for those of us living in cooler climes where it’s warm during the day but at dusk a breeze kicks up and the temps drop (25 degrees between 8:00 and 8:45 on Monday) and you don’t want to haul around a scarf or hat. *shrug* Or at least that’s my excuse. Loved mine the other night while enjoying Breakfast at Tiffany’s on my ultimate big screen: a projecter and laptop combined with a king size sheet binder-clipped to the gutter on the side of my house (and lawn chairs at the bottom to keep it from fluttering).
Third: Brrraaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns! : )