I was flipping through a magazine recently and noticed one of those ads that we’ve all seen a kajillion times over the years — it’s by one of those commemorative souvenir/collectible companies that want to sell us overpriced dreck and most of the time I flip right by and don’t pay any attention. This time, however, I stopped and stared in awe and wonder.
The ad was for this:
This is “Emily’s Celebration of Life” by Master Doll Artist Linda Webb. It costs $149.99 (payable in five easy installments of $29.99). Because that layaway plan is all important for such a fine collectible. I’m pretty sure even Southeby’s allows art collectors to pay for their Monets and Van Goghs in five easy installments. (Not.)
It’s a doll, y’all. And it costs as much as a week’s worth of groceries for a family of four. For something that’s supposed to be looked at, not touched. That’s right, the fine print in the ad says:
This doll is not a toy; she is a fine collectible to be enjoyed by adult collectors.
People, I dispute the notion that this is art or even a collectible because serious art collectors would sniff at the vinyl doll (hey, at least it’s not resin) and scoff at the idea that this would be considered art. And anyone who collects old cars or mid century modern furniture or even Longaberger baskets would roll their eyes at the dolls too. But if you can show me an example of someone who buys these dolls and then sells them for even more money later, then I want to see it.
And the scary thing is, the doll is only one of hundreds offered on that website. And every last one of them disturbs me in some way. It’s like the “doll artist” paints a little crazy into each and every one of them.
I’m not going to lie to you, this doll is creepy. Look at it. You agree with me, right? It has this look in its eye and I can’t decide if it’s the “get me away from these people” look or the “I’m going to kill you, bitch” look. Or maybe it’s both.
Who buys this stuff? If I had 150 Washingtons to drop frivolously, I’m pretty sure my frivolity would skew toward shoes or accessories, not something I wouldn’t take out in public.
I think I’ll add this to the list of things I won’t be collecting.
So help me out here, folks. What’s the purpose of these dolls?
No, just no. And if it doesn’t scream, why does it have a pacifier?
I saw a story on TV about these women who think they have a REAL BABY! They take them out in public! Creeps me the Eff out. Somebody needs therapy, pronto.
This opinion was brought to you by the woman who just spent half an hour snuggling a kitten who fall asleep on my chest with her head on my shoulder. My husband commented last night about how cute it is that kitty and I cuddle. I told him I have Grandmother Envy Syndrome.
I once watched a show about women who are obsessed with these dolls. They buy/collect them and treat them like real children!! So what’s creepier, the actual dolls, or the women who collect them?
No, the creepy part was that most of these women had husbands that encouraged the creepy doll love. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that those are the husbands that have the mommy fetishes. You know what I’m talking about….
My grandmother collected dolls. She had an entire curio cabinet full of them. She also bought all of her granddaughters new dolls every year for their birthday and Christmas. I have an entire trunk of Madame Alexander dolls I’m not quite sure what to do with. I actually have a doll similar to that from when I was a wee one, that I played with, even though I don’t think I was supposed to. (Actually, I have at least 2 that look similar to that.) When my grandfather retired, one of his projects was building a victorian dollhouse for her. It was beautiful and even though we weren’t supposed to play with it, we still got away with doing just that, as long as we didn’t break anything. (We did.) I don’t think she played with her dolls though and I know the curio cabinet was obtained so that her grandchildren would stop wreaking havoc on her dolls, some of which were antique.
On the other hand, the American Girl dolls that are so popular with girls these days are close to that in price and plenty of folks have no problem forking out that sort of cash for them.
This is one of the many reasons I am thrilled that Miss Boo raced through the babydoll phase of her childhood. Dolls creep me out.
Hold me. I’m so terrified of that damn doll.
That’s the doll that’s in all the horror movies chanting “I love you mommy” as she swings a machete at your face.
I never was much of a doll-lover – I preferred grown-up dolls like Barbie to babies. But that gives me the creeps, too. And I visited the site – did you catch “this one?” Astonishingly creepy.
I think for grownups, dolls in general are kind of creepy – oh, I appreciate antique dolls and collectible folk-art dolls – I love Mexican papier mache munequitas – but, au fond, part of the reason they are so intriguing is that they are creepy.
Okay, a baby monkey is weird.
But I stand by my comment below. Desires for what cannot be…
As someone else said, my first thought was “huh. That isn’t much more than one of those American Girl dolls…just creepier.” And that is why whoever introduces my daughter to anything besides an AG book will be put to a slow and painful death. Yeesh. (Also, note to self – go find my Cabbage Patch Dolls, stored somewhere in the storage space, for Easter present for the Girl.) I think part of what makes these dolls so creepy is that they look so damn real. And I suspect many folks buy them and many of those folks need serious psychiatric help.
Two things come to mind:
1. The body language of the woman (shown from the back, so we can’t see her face… wondering about her expression!) makes me think this is being sold to those who have mommy or grandma desires that remain unfulfilled. I might be guilty of rocking a doll once or twice when I reallyREALLYreally wanted to have a baby.
2. My mother bought herself an American Girl Doll. (She also bought them for her only granddaughter, but none for the 9 grandsons. Or me.) I kind of get it… (no, not the doll, that would have creeped my husband out if she had been in the will!) I think it has something to do with wanting the best for yourself, maybe combined with grandmother fantasies. Look, it’s a baby that DOESN’T bother you — it just sits there and looks precious and never spits up on the fancy outfits or cries. Or comes with annoying adult children. Something like that.
Anyhow, that’s my take on it. More sad than creepy.
Thank you, Karen! The part of me that has always reallyREALLYreally wanted a child but will never have one wants this doll. The rest of me knows that actually getting a doll would be going one stop too far on the crazy train.
Violet – Here’s to both of us not traveling too far on the crazy train, because I had those same thoughts while viewing this ad a few years ago. I find it best to hold other people’s real babies every once in a while rather than spend money on such a doll.
I think the dolls that look too real are very creepy. And I question paying that much $ for something you wouldn’t play with. Emma has AG dolls, but she plays with them. They go on adventures with her. I don’t care if they look totally used up by the time she’s out of dolls –that’s the point.
In fact, Emma has two dolls from my childhood, one a Madame Alexander doll, and one a Sasha doll. They are totally messed up, but she loves them because they were mine and I played with them when I was her age. We’ve made new clothes for them, and they’re friends of the AG dolls.
But AG dolls don’t look real. So they’re not creepy.
my MIL has one of these. It sits in a little rocking chair in the spare room (where we sleep when we visit) and it totally creeps me out. I usually end up leaving the room and going to sleep in with the kids because I can not fall asleep with it looking at me. Just thinking about it makes me shudder a little.
My mom collects dolls. I don’t know why. She doesn’t have a bazillion, nor does she play with them (or treat them like actual babies/children), but they are on display in curio cabinets and such around her house. I don’t get it, and she hasn’t bought a new doll in a really long time, but for her they’re just collectibles (obviously, she has children, and a grandchild, so she’s not fulfilling any unfulfilled wish there herself). She would NOT buy the doll above, however – she has Madame Alexander dolls (an MA set of Little Women dolls is displayed prominently in the living room), and some antique dolls, and assorted others, but I don’t think any of them are infants…
The doll looks angry, and it reminds me of Pet Semetary. Creepy is right.
I find all dolls a little bit creepy, but that one is off the chart.