I recently got a catalog from Orvis Outfitters. I don’t know if I should be flattered that they think I am part of their demographic (über preppy) or offended that they think I am part of their demographic (über preppy, conservative, and much older than I am).

Now, this is probably the point when you’re thinking that I’m going to go through the Orvis catalog and sling around my bitchery about a great many things in there, just as I do with, say, the Ren Faire Fanatics and Hooker Supplies catalog. However, this time, I am not.

Don’t look so shocked.

Honestly, given my track record of sharing my snark about a catalog and then ending up buying something from said purveyor, as occurred in the Great Eating Crow Incident of 2009, I’m a wee bit concerned that I’ll end up losing my head and buying a vintage denim blazer or vintage drawstring pants. (And don’t even get me started on the misuse of the word vintage.) Or that I’ll get all “A River Runs Through It” and take up a new sport.

Seriously, y’all Orvis does carry Barbour and all I’m going to say is that it’s a damn good thing that this tartan bag is way out of my price range because you good people know how much I love me some tartan.

So, I’ll limit my commentary to just one item in the entire Orvis collection: The spun silk turtleneck dickey.

Do you know what a dickey is? According to Wikipedia, it’s a bib-like false-front shirt that one wears under another article of clothing, such as a coat or sweater. These days, they are most common as fake turtlenecks under sweaters, like this:

Personally, I can’t imagine wearing something like this, because surely that flap of fabric would slide around and irritate me all hairshirt-like and I am most definitely not a Franciscan friar. However, I understand wanting the look of a turtleneck without raising one’s body temperature another 20 degrees, so I’m not going to comment further on this particular sartorial trend.

The dickies sold at Orvis, however, are styled quite differently. I have not been able to find photos on the website, but in the catalog they’re shown as being more more like cropped tops than bibs, like this:

So, in essence, Orvis is selling belly shirts to grandmothers and great-aunts all across the preppy nation. I checked the website, but apparently hip preppy granny fashion does not include navel rings made of cultured pearls or monogrammed gold, which is a major lost opportunity, if you ask me.

Do you know who will probably wear one of these belly shirts? 60-year-old Britney Spears, that’s who.

See? She already has the granny panties to go with her dickey. Mark my words, in 2042, this look is going to make a comeback.

One of the great things about dickies is that, in usual circumstances, one doesn’t know if others are wearing them. For all I know, at my next girls’ night out, at least half of my girlfriends will be rocking them and no one will be the wiser. (Unless, of course, the appletinis flow too freely, in which case it’s entirely possible that some cardigans are getting tossed aside.)

So that’s what I’ve got for you today. I’m going to sign off now and go bury the Orvis catalog down waaaaaay deep in the recycling bin so that I’m not tempted by anything else.

Disclaimer: Just in case it’s not clear, I do not work for Orvis, I was not asked to review their products, nor was I compensated in any way. Photo credits: All are from Yahoo Images.


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12 Responses to Bibbed

  1. My mother-in-law is fond of wearing dickies. That’s probably the worst thing I can say about her. Call it a bib or a dickie, they’re just WRONG. Wrongwrongwrong.

  2. I don’t get it. Is that really elastic around the bottom of that dickey? All day long, my boobs are plagued with an under-wire. Why would I want to further add to the misery with elastic???

  3. It seems to me that there was a dickey in my past – thanks so very much for unearthing that thought.

  4. Becky says:

    There was a recent episode of “30 Rock” where Liz Lemon was wearing a dickey. There were some fabulous jokes about it.

  5. Cassi Renee says:

    I think it would be a lot easier to buy some 2fers. (Another ridiculously named item of clothing.) But, I don’t know why you would want to wear a half-shirt under your shirt. As Dana said, we already have to wear bras, so why make it worse?

  6. bdaiss says:

    Might help with those too low cut shirts? You know, you need something fitting over your chest to stop the shirt from providing lingerie flashing, but a traditional dickie would just flop right out? That’s all I can possibly come up with there. (And the answer you’re looking for is a fitted camisole, not that thing.)

    We owned a dicky once. I think I was 10. I say we because I’m pretty sure it came from a pile of my mom’s discards that ended up as “costume” options. The only time I remember wearing it was while playing around with some friends doing crazy people costumes and such.

    But then, I’ve always been anti-turtleneck. They feel as if someone is constantly trying to choke me. This was a very-bad-thing back in the early 90s when turtlenecks were hugely popular (always with your necklace hanging off the top of them).

  7. Aunt Snow says:

    I have vague memories of wearing a dickey – I think we had to wear one under our band uniform in high school (my band affected the blazer-and-white-turtleneck-and white-bucks look) – that way you could wear a teeshirt in warm weather instead of a long-sleeved turtleneck.

    that’s about the only reason I can see for wearing one. Maybe people in really cold climates need them in winter?

  8. Julie says:

    I have been carrying a leather backpack purse (many many different styles, colors, etc) for so many years, that I don’t even pay attention to what normal purses look like these days…but that tartan bag? I’d so buy it. I love it truly. It’s a bit over what I normally spend (hovering at little over 200.00+ per bag, for my collection of backpack purses) but I might consider it, if I knew I would be getting mileage out of it!

  9. Jenn3128 says:

    Who’s to say I’m not wearing one right now…(wink wink)

  10. Kim Kasch says:

    I honestly remember dickies – I think I had a few as a kid. But I can see why they’re making a comback. Seriously, there’s a very good use for them now. I always have to wear a shirt underneath a shirt ‘cuz the things are cut so low that even if gravity were my friend, I wouldn’t be caught dead without having a tank underneath these sleaze-shirties – at least that’s what I think of ‘em :( I don’t know if the designers are trying to save money on fabric or what…the heck! The shirts are cut to my navel and the pants are barely above my pubs – I guess I’m just old but then I guess I always was.

  11. Jenny says:

    Re: your disclaimer
    If you DID work for Orvis, you wouldn’t be anymore.
    Maybe that’s a good thing.

  12. I’d already laughed out loud at this: So, in essence, Orvis is selling belly shirts to grandmothers and great-aunts all across the preppy nation.
    but when I got to the part about Britney Spears’ “granny panties to go with her dickey” I choked on my tea.
    BTW, it’s dangerous to read 2 of your posts in a row. My family now thinks I have a maniacal laugh.

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