Notes from the Jenworld Glacier Observation Station, part 2

For part 1, click here.

The scientists at the Jenworld Glacier Observation Station (JGOS) are once again announcing that parts of the Jenworld Glacier have separated from the main body of Jenworld.  It is unknown what the glacial earthquake measured on the Richter scale.  There were no human injuries — other than loss of sleep — sustained during these most recent examples of basal sliding.

Occurring on Tuesday, February 23, the first separation was at 5:11 a.m. and once again woke the lead glaciologists, although the seismic event was on a far smaller scale than during previous glacial separations.  The lead glaciologists woke up briefly, sleepily discussed the situation, and then went back to sleep.  As Jen, one co-lead glaciologist, thought to herself later, “When you live under a glacier, you start to become immune to blocks of ice flying around your head.”

The second separation event of February 23 occurred at 8:03 a.m. and the surge was actually witnessed by the lead scientists.  Pete, the other co-lead glaciologist said that he was glad that the large chunk of ice had fallen then, so that he did not have to worry about dealing with “frozen flying death” when leaving the JGOS by way of the automotive exit.  Jen, however, was simply impressed by the awesome display of gravity.

Unlike last week’s glacier calving, this week’s chunks of glacier are slightly softer, due to continuation of global warming of the seasonal kind.

Further study of the Jenworld Glacier has led to the conclusion that in excess of 50% of its glacier mass balance still exists at this time.  Based on the amount and plasticity of the glacier at its terminus, the glaciologists believe that another glacier calving will occur within the next 24 hours.

In the meantime, the Jenworld Glacier has also been randomly spewing forth chunks of ice for several days, including a ginormous one that landed on the metal porch roof at 2:26 p.m. and then bounced onto the ground below.  Says, Jen, who heard the impact, “I’m not gonna lie to you.  It scared the complete and total shit out of me.  I thought I had become pretty blasé about all this flying ice, but apparently not.”  This ice-falling event was eclipsed at 9:43 p.m. by a louder and more Jenworld-rattling ice event, in which Jen thought that she might need CPR to restart her heart.

Scientists report that leaving the JGOS is now a dicey endeavor, as they must avoid falling snow, flying chunks of ice, and the ever-present ice-cold drizzle of melting snow.  In addition, because of the masses of snow and ice on the ground just outside the automotive exit, the scientists must operate their vehicles in a more aggressive and forceful manner, in order to clear the snowy obstructions.

In other climate-related news, Jen is happy to report that she has discovered the first patch of green grass in Jenworld — the first such sighting in nearly a month.  The patch of grass measures less than 12″ square, however, Jen is hopeful that it will increase in size and eventually span the length and width of all of Jenworld, thereby allowing her to pursue her other occupation as an urban gardener.

More developments will be announced as they occur.

People, if you didn’t check out all of the links — particularly close to the end — then you need to go back and look carefully, as I’ve thrown some Easter eggs in there.