Notes from the Jenworld Glacier Observation Station

The scientists at the Jenworld Glacier Observation Station (JGOS) have announced that part of the Jenworld Glacier has separated from the main body of Jenworld.  Officials are pleased to announce that there was no loss of life in this incident.

Formed the weekend of February 6-7, 2010, the Jenworld Glacier has been  slowly  inching its way down from the highest point of Jenworld.

The Jenworld Glacier, as observed from one of the highest observation points (a.k.a. the master bedroom).

The separation event occurred at 3:19 a.m. on February 19, 2010 and can be described by one then-sleeping researcher as, “Really effing loud.”

The part of the Jenworld Glacier that calved was 40′ wide, 12″ thick, and 3′ long in places, excluding large icicles that had formed along its edge.

Scientists had been watching the Jenworld Glacier with interest, as its calving had serious implications for future travel out of Jenworld.

The automotive exit of the JGOS is frozen shut.

This area was free of snow and ice yesterday; today it is a luge track.

Another area that was a free of snow and ice yesterday.

At 7:21 a.m. Eastern Standard Time (four hours after the glacier calving event), the JGOS maintenance staff began removing icy chunks of glacier from the automotive exit of JGOS.

When asked about the conditions outside, the head of maintenance replied, “Icy” and then later added “I think some Advil is in my future.”

At this time, only one official JGOS transportation unit has been cleared for use.  It is expected that the second JGOS transportation unit will be available after the outside temperatures have been in the 40s (Fahrenheit) for several hours.  In the meantime, JGOS researchers will carpool or travel by foot.

This was the second major Jenworld Glacier separation event of 2010.  The first one  occurred on February 6, when the Jenworld Glacier was initially formed.  A large part of the glacier obeyed the laws of gravity and separated from Jenworld, causing all of Jenworld to rock with a seismic activity never before felt in the 12 month history of Jenworld.

Jen, the co-leader of the Glacier Survey Team, who was on a conference call at the time of the first calving, said that she was so surprised that she very loudly yelped, “Shit!” on the phone into her colleagues’ ears.  No complaints were filed by the colleagues and therefore no public apology is necessary.

The JGOS scientists believe that this latest glacier separation incident is a sign of global warming of the seasonal kind and are pleased with this development.

However, it must be cautioned that the likelihood of more glaciers is certain, as shown by this research photo, taken at 7:03 a.m.:

More developments will be announced if they occur.

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23 Responses to Notes from the Jenworld Glacier Observation Station

  1. You crack me the eff up.

    Is Head Of Maintenance considering an alternative/yet still fairly green form of ice removal for future incidents of Glacier Separation?


  2. vanessa says:

    I love the description style you took with this and I can only imagine how effing loud it must have really been. Get a snow removal machine because with snow/ice like that there will never be enough advil.

  3. zeghsy says:

    Wow. I knew I was a fan of science for a reason. I’m anxious for more news on the glacier.

  4. Angie says:

    I am happy to read that my esteemed colleagues in the more southerly regions of the polar ice cap are fairing well after the glacial shift. Our region is experiencing some minor global warming at this time also. Hurray!!

  5. jenn says:

    One of your best posts! “Calving” is killing me. :)

    Otherwise, um … good luck with that.

  6. alex says:

    I hope the maintenance staff was paid overtime :)

  7. Are you sure you don’t live in New England??
    Just keep chanting: it’s almost over, it’s almost over…

  8. Michele P says:

    Eek, that would scare the crap out of me! Nice reporting, Dr. Jen!

  9. bdaiss says:

    Yeow! I suppose that was a side affect of the metal roofing you weren’t expecting! And calving at 3:19 in the morning? What in the heck?!? I think snow has a mind that is set to the “constant bother” mode. If you’re not ticked that the crap keeps falling out of the sky, it’ll find other ways to get your knickers in a bunch.

    Fantabulous post!

  10. Skywalker says:

    I’m glad life and property are in relatively stable condition. An effing loud sound….hahahahaha.

  11. Jen says:

    Jen, that’s one of the best posts you’ve ever written. It must be preserved, possibly in a time capsule at JGOS.

  12. paperdiva says:

    Awesome post, I laughed many many times.
    I’m glad the researchers at JGOS were all asleep, especially the junior researchers. That kind of calving could have buried one alive!

  13. Kristabella says:

    At least you have an angled roof and it is sliding off. My friend in Pittsburgh has a flat roof and all the snow is doing crazy damage.

    Also, one of my fears is getting impaled by a large icicle falling from one of the tall buildings downtown Chicago.

  14. That would have completely freaked me out. Heart attack-inducing freak out.

  15. Great post, Jen! I hope Mr. Maintenance got his advil.

  16. barbra says:

    I’m an admitted science nerd, so really enjoyed this post! Well done and very entertaining, way to make the best of the situation!

  17. Malena says:

    I think I have recovered enough from rolling around the floor belly laughing to the point of crying to be able to add to the general commentary: one of your funniest ever! Thank you for the laughs! =)

  18. Violet says:

    HILARIOUS!! I’m impressed that your heart rate has slowed enough to connect fingers with keyboard. I think I would still be quaking after being awakened by a calving (of any kind, hee) at 3:19 a.m.

    There is melting here in the middle, too…but a forecast for another 3-6 inches of snow tomorrow night.

  19. Kim Kasch says:

    You do have some weather there.

  20. Jennifer Krieger says:

    Jen, you are hysterical. Stay warm.
    I live in Los Angeles. I’m going to strol-l-l outside now and see how my strawberries are coming along – we’ve had really bad rain here, you know. Oh, the trials.

  21. mrs. g. says:

    Holy smokes! I’ve never experienced that much snow.

  22. melissawest says:

    That’s some glacier–you’re giving our Alaskan compatriots a real run for their money!

  23. Sarah says:

    Um, Jen- when you have the forementioned glaciers comgin off of your roof try breaking them up with a broom or shovel. Kiernan loves watching my dad & I do this with snow & icicles but its better than the gutters or eaves breaking off! I swear I’m going to get my dad one of those propane burners that torch weeds & can melt snow & ice off the driveway & other areas!

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