I don’t know if you’ve seen this article or not, but apparently there’s a sorority at Cornell that has set some rather thorough wardrobe guidelines for the sisters during Rush.
[Side note to my non-American readers: Rush is the multi-week process through which sororities and fraternities seek out new members. With sororities, the parties start out casual and become increasingly formal. The parties are often themed and the sororities usually have a sister who is in charge of everything.]
Actually, “guidelines” is a bit too understated. I think the word we’re looking for here is “rules” or perhaps “dictatorial mandate that may not be ignored.”
Think I’m kidding? Here is a teeny tiny fraction of the rules and regs the sisters of this particular sorority are expected to adhere to during each round of Rush:
- Denim-leggings are appropriate as long as it’s done right: aka, not from American Apparel and worn with chic, cool chunky boots over them and a longer top. NO camel toe.
- No: Muffin tops or extreme low rise!!
- Preferably no short sleeves — recommended: full coverage aka elbow length, 3/4 length, long, thin layers.
- Yes: Nice flats: Tory Burch. Boots: love…worn OVER pants.
- Yes: Shaved legs
- No: Satin. No one looks good in satin dresses unless it’s from Betsey Johnson or Dolce & Gabbana, you weigh less than 130 pounds, have 3 pairs of spanks on and it’s New Years Eve.
- [About jewelry]: I’m not saying you have to be wearing the Harry Winston wreath for me to like it, but I am saying I will not tolerate any gross plastic shizzz. Remember: less is more.
- you best have a mani pedi when you get to Ithaca
- no frumpy!
Like I said, that’s only a small part of the overall manifesto, which was seven pages long. Seven. Pages.
Wow.
I can only hope that the writer puts this much thought and effort into her coursework. If so, then surely she is on the dean’s list.
Originally, I was going to blog about this and just rip it apart. But the more I thought about it, the more I loved the idea. After all, isn’t it nice to know what you should wear and not actually have to think? Freedom of choice is so overrated.
So with all this in mind, I am herewith setting a dress code for the readers of Jen on the Edge:
- Casual clothes are a MUST when reading Jen on the Edge — t-shirts, yoga pants, broken-in jeans, etc. If you are reading Jen on the Edge at work, do what you can to make yourself comfortable. Take off your shoes or something, okay?
- No one gives a rat’s ass what length your pants are — cropped or long or too long or high waters. (Hell, one resident of Jenworld wears shorts year-round, so those who live in glass houses and all that…) Comfort is key.
- While wearing black is always a plus in Jen’s book, wear what truly makes you happy.
- Designer labels are discouraged and affordable brands are highly recommended — Target, Lands’ End, L.L. Bean, Old Navy, etc. If you are a rich person who must shop at frou-frou stores in order to maintain appearances, try to slum it a little on occasion and slip in some Anthro or Gap or something.
- If you want to read Jen on the Edge while wearing hooker boots or showing some skin or even while nude, that’s your prerogative. Just don’t tell us, okay?
- I don’t want to hear the words “camel toe.” That’s just none of my business.
- Crocs, Danskos, and other comfy shoes are the recommended footwear for Jen on the Edge. Barefoot is even better. If you’d rather “saw off a foot” than wear Crocs (to directly quote my bloggy-friend Suzanne), then go ahead and wear shoes that you think are aesthetically pleasing. But do make sure they’re comfortable.
- Weight does not matter here at Jen on the Edge. There will be no discriminating against the overweight or else you’d have no Jen to write for you. And we Big Berthas will not discriminate against you Skinny Minnies who could stand to eat a sandwich or two. With extra cheese.
- Stretch marks, wrinkles, and gray hair are highly revered at Jen on the Edge. Perfection is unattainable, so embrace who you are.
- Manis and pedis are fine if they float your boat. Just know that Jen often has dirt under her fingernails when writing for you during the months of April, May, June, July, August, September, and October. And during the rest of the year, manis and pedis are not something that Jen ever thinks about or has any interest in. She’d rather spend money on books.
- There’s no need to wear makeup if you don’t want to. After all, half the time, Jen writes blog posts with her skin completely unpainted and there’s often a real chance that she’s showcasing a rather scary zit.
- Jen on the Edge does not discriminate against anyone based on her or his weight, height, skin tone, hair color (real or not), wardrobe choices, or tattoos. All are welcome.
I think that about covers it. If you feel like I’ve missed something, be sure to let me know.
As I sit here cross-legged on my desk chair, in my favorite, off-brand, chocolate-brown, stretchy jeans, a t-shirt, sweatshirt, bra long since removed and folded on the desk, I couldn’t help but laugh at this VERY enjoyable dress code. (YOURS, not theirs..ICK!) Funniest thing I’ve read all night…and a great break from mayhem on the hard drive.
It’s not like it’s knew, people being discriminating and stuff about what people wear… but I guess the whole outspokeness of it has become a lot more acceptable. Ick. I’d rather cut off both my feet than subscribe to thpse kinds of rules and regulations. Or join a sorority. I’m sure they’re great for some people…. infact, my cousin thrived in one when she was at Uni in Idaho, but they’re not for me. Too prissy and perfect.
Loving the Jen World clothing guidelines. Are PJ’s acceptable?
I feel overdressed for reading Jenworld simply because I AM dressed.
But then, I am at work.
I love your dresscode. I feel right at home in Jenworld.
I knew I fit in your club.
Whew. My muffin top & I were worried for a moment.
Love your dress code!
That sorority is the exact type of “better than thou” groups I spent my entire college career annoying!
Love your dress code!
I wonder how long it would take to get the pole out of the arse of author of the sorority dress code? Just sayin’.
Dang, and here I sit in my Chanel suit and stilettos… no wait, sorry, I mean bathrobe and comfy slippers.
And can I just say? If I ever caught wind that that’s what my daughter’s were spending their time doing in college, I would haul their snotty little butts home and make them go to the community college.
This is just the laugh I needed on a dreary Monday morning. I almost had coffee coming out of my nose as I sit here in my JC Penney jeans, Old Navy fleece and Kmart long-sleeved t-shirt.
Issue #1. My daughter is in a sorority. She is in a sorority with “real women”, not Plastic Princesses.
She did her homework before Rush. I bet if I asked her about the sorority in that story, she will confirm that they are one of the “PP” sororities.
I have met a LOT of my daughter’s sorority sisters and I no longer dump all sorority girls into the same bucket.
The have a dress code for Rush and weekly Chapter Meetings and some Socials. I have seen it. It basically prevents people from showing up in public looking like a crack whore or attention whore.
Off my soapbox. I am wearing yoga pants, a 6 year old Old Navy fleece, no shoes, red toenail polish from my Dec 6th pedicure, 4 chipped fingernails from a Sunday of manual labor at work and I need a shower.
I think I’m appropriately dressed for blog-reading.
Glad to know I’m perfectly attired for reading your blog. Unfortunately I’m going to have to dress up for the next several weeks, a phrase I have the urge to put “play” in front of.
A dose of dish and super informative as usual, Jen— I love it!
P.S. Coffee thermos is my accesory of choice: goes with practically everything I do, including visiting Jen World!
I don’t think the dress code is such a bad idea. Perhaps it could have been worded a bit nicer–that crack about weighing less than 130 made me want to spit but–but I’m thinking that this is a well-dressed bunch of girls looking for similar women who care about their appearance. Did they take it a bit far with the mention of designer labels? Sure! Not everyone has a daddy who can front you the money to splurge at Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom. But bottom line: slouches need not apply!
I’m breaking all the rules for Jen World since I’m at work and my shoes are uncomfortable, but they are the only ones I can wear with this pair of pants.
That dress code for the sorority doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s like straight out of Gossip Girl.
I’m relieved to know I’m properly dressed as I comment.
I pledged a sorority my freshman year in college. I lasted eight weeks.
Ah Jen- this is why I LOVE reading you!
No wonder I was never in a sorority.
My kids tell me I dress like a Granny-and an out of style one at that
Being sorority alum, the list doesn’t surprise me. Unfortunately, it was par for the course in a lot of houses and still is for some. That’s why I was glad that we usually opted for theme parties and had costumes (flapper, elves, etc.) so we could avoid having to be fashion nazi’s.
The funniest thing is that now that we’re all alumnae, most of us are pretty casual, laid back and still pretty darn fashionable.
Sorority fashion wasn’t all bad. Trust me, some girls needed to learn the benefits of a slip. Fortunately, we generally handled it with more tact.
This? I why neither of my daughters would even CONSIDER going through rush. That said is my cellulite welcome here too?
What is the management’s view on food stains? (I had mince and tatties for dinner and missed my mouth slightly)
I hate to say, but I agree with Leah. Some people have no idea what it means to dress “appropriately” (I like the “No Muffin Top” comment in the list).
As for Jen’s World, I have on polar fleece (check!), old jeans (check!) and Crocs (check check!).
This reminds me of Ja’mie from Summer Heights High…a VERY funny Australian comedy show. Find it on You Tube, and laugh yourself sick.
Also there’s no mention of Moose Knuckle….Camel Toe’s ugly sister.
This is why sororities scared me. All that would have made me laugh inappropriately before I realized they were serious and I would have had to ask who Tory Burch was.
(And anyone who actually writes “shizzz” in a document? First one drunk on the floor.)
Let’s see, jeans – check! Hoodie – check! Vans on the feet – check! This is my kind of sorority. I think I like it!
Reading my favorite blog with my tube top and my hooker boots, enjoying life. My bad, you said NOT to tell ya’ll. Sorry. Still love ya though!
I love this post! I remember all the sorority girls walking around campus adhering to these dress rules….so silly, but like you say—freedom of choice is TOTALLY, LIKE overrated.
Thank you for the dress code! My yoga pants, slippers, and fleece Old Navy top I’m wearing right now thank you!
Back in 1972 when my mother talked me into rush I was told I had to wear a white dress to an event. I didn’t own anything white and I didn’t have money to buy anything white and that was the end of rush.
My daughter is at Pen and has no love for the Greeks – if it is like Cornell, I can understand why.
Surely the pants-tucked-into-boots trend is on the wane? It ought to be, I am sick of it, and to me, that look, approved of in item #1 of the sorority dress code speaks more of someone with No Imagination rather than someone with a sense of style.
A recent hire at my studio asked about our dress code before her first day. I should have sent her a link to this post!
Surely even Tory Burch has her frumpy days, no?