People, it’s been — what? — a week or two since I’ve had to discuss a catalog I’ve gotten in the mail and it’s already time to dissect another one. I am blown away by the sheer number of businesses that appear to have the Jenworld address in their databases this year. I’m doing what I can to get off these lists, but it’s a time-consuming process.
Today’s victim topic of discussion will be Brookstone. I’m sure you’ve heard of this one; I think it’s been around since yuppies in the ’80s first got their taste for ridiculous overpriced gadgets.
There was so much that I could dissect here, but I decided to limit myself to only three products. One. Two. Three. Now THAT was a challenge, I tell you. The need for self-restraint was great. After much mental debate, here are the three items that I offer for today’s commentary:
Overpriced ridiculous gadget #1 –The club umbrella. “Spring-loaded umbrella keeps your clubs dry, yet still provides easy access during play.” First of all, they’re golf clubs, not the Wicked Witch of the West (or East). They can get wet. They won’t cry or moan or even die. (I don’t know, nor do I care, if golf clubs will get rusty.) Second of all, might I suggest that playing in the rain has the potential to be, oh, a wee bit deadly. You know, holding a potential lightening rod in your hands in the face of a coming storm…
Overpriced ridiculous gadget #2 – The digital alcohol detector. “Check your breath for blood alcohol content and get results in seconds.” I’m just going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you feel the need to buy one of these, you might, just might, have larger issues than whether or not you should be driving after a night out with your friends. I suggest that instead of spending $70 on this, you might want to consider spending your time getting help.
Overpriced ridiculous gadget #3 –The SmartShopper Deluxe. “Say it, print it, go get it! Voice-recording SmartShopper Deluxe organizes and prints your grocery list.” Yep, for $100, you too can organize your grocery list. Or you could just continue using pens and paper and save yourself the moolah. Plus, there’s the potential for problems. For example, the kids could walk by and say “candy” every time and the SmartShopper Deluxe would add it to the list. Then you’d send your husband to the store and he’d see “candy” written down 17 times and come home with 15 pounds of the stuff.
Now, if you own one or more of the items above, I’m not saying that you wasted your money. However, I would like to know how said item revolutionized your life and thus spending the money was totally worth it.
On a totally unrelated note, I’ve revived our house blog. Obviously, we’re well past the construction, moving, and settling in stages.
(Hell, we’ve already reached the need-to-throw-shit-out stage. Multiple times.)
Now the blog’s focus is going to be our adventures in urban gardening and eating more local foods and less McFoods. We already have a large kitchen garden, but we’re going to expand our food production efforts in 2010. If you’re so inclined, check it out.
And that’s what I have for you on this fine Monday. (No, “fine Monday” is not an oxymoron.) How are you all and how was your weekend?
I love catalogs but it’s usually seed catalogs for the garden.
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater! it’s still SUNDAY here in my world Jen!? My internet calendar says “November 8th”. It’s only like 9:37p.m.
Oh wait, you could be 3 hrs ahead, right? Or, 2 hrs? But then it would still only be Sunday for YOU. Ahem.
I think I’d walk by the SmartShopperDeluxe and order myself a new life every time I saw it on the frig there. Or, hey, a new man, or some new kids. Now there’s a thought. No 15 pounds of candy for me.
They call me catalog queen here.
Yeah, I think I can do without all 3 of those.
My weekend? Scouting with C on Saturday, then Guiding with K on Sunday. TA quick food shop then Dr Who on the sofa…I love raining Sunday afternoons!
I’m glad I don’t get that catalogue. (I’d prefer it stayed trees). My weekend? Stuck at home with a feverish girl….and that’s what my Monday holds too, though now I get to listen to her complain that she’d rather be at school. Oh! And I forgot to be the tooth fairy last night, but luckily my kids wake up when it’s still dark and can’t tell time so I managed to convince her that it was still the middle of the night, and I managed to do a little bait and switch. She doesn’t suspect a thing, but she’s sure she HEARD the tooth fairy squeak.
You get the Brookstone catalog? I cringe walking by that store in Pentagon City. As for my weekend, other than suffering through more contractions, we started the final push to set up baby shop – diapers, baby cream, crib mattress, baby sleepers, piddle pads for crib and bassinet.
I need to find that post you did earlier on the post partum maternity kit. I need that stat!
I’m seriously jealous of those boots!
Yep, club umbrella/lightning rod. You get a two-fer.
I wrote about my weekend ad nauseum on the WB.
The Hammacher Schlemmer catalog has a $15,000 rocking horse on the cover. I’m not kidding.
that smart shopper would be hilarious. If you saw it one someones counter you could say things like ‘Viagra’ or ‘adult diapers’. Funny!
Can’t say I need any of those things, but I can see my hubby wanting the golf club umbrella. (It’s only partly aboutt he uber expensive clubs your protecting…it’s also all the other crap you keep in your bag you don’t want getting wet.)
Busy Saturday, crazy Sunday. Went back to tap class. Took both kids = chaos. I’m glad Monday is here. The boy goes back to daycare, hubby is at work and I can nap whenever the girl does.
I’m with you. Brookstone makes me laugh it’s so outrageous.
A couple of weeks ago we staked out a new garden space for next summer’s food production. So excited!
I couldn’t agree with you more on #2.
I was at the Yankee’s parade this past Friday. It was still exciting even for a non-sports fan like me!
My brother-in-law has the breathalyser thingy. We played a game with it where we had to compete to see who could get it to give the highest reading. I’m not saying that was a GOOD use, but you did ask. (*hangs head in shame and skulks off*)
An umbrella for golf clubs is like a sweater for a dog. The grocery list organizer is pretty silly too. $100? I could see the digital breathalizer coming in handy, although my own tolerance for alcohol is such that I’m impaired long before my blood level reaches the illegal range.
Dude, wet golf clubs are SLIPPERY!….
just saying.
And no, I’m not a Brookstone patron. Already gots way too much sh*** I needs to throw out, too.