Many weeks ago, Mooselet sent me an amazing box of goodies from Down Under, which included not only a treasure trove of chocolate, but also this:
Now I don’t know about y’all, but Vegemite has always been a food that I’ve categorized as Things You Eat On A Dare. Haggis is also on that list.
However, Mooselet was kind enough to include very detailed instructions on the best way to eat Vegemite:
Toast is the best way to eat Vegemite. The Golden Rule — less is more.
- Toast bread of choice
- Spread on butter, margarine, or your spread of choice
- Spread on a THIN layer of Vegemite on top. Do not make the American mistake of treating it like peanut butter. Refer to the Golden Rule. THIN. Kate Moss thin.
- Eat.
Aussies LOVE this stuff. Vegemite sandwiches (with butter) are a lunchbox staple, as is toast and Vegemite and crackers. Aussies are weird. 
You might not know this, but Mooselet is actually an American ex-pat living Down Under, so I figured if she, an American-born woman, could eat this stuff, then the least that I could do is give it a try.
But then I lost my nerve. And the Vegemite sat in our pantry for weeks, taunting me every time I walked by it.
I kept telling Pete that we needed to try the Vegemite, but his response was, and I quote, “Who’s ‘we’ kemosabe?”
[Side note, I don't know how we came up with that expression, but it's something we say to each other on occasion.]
The girls flat out refused to partake, so it appeared that I would have to do this on my own. Oh the things I do for you people!
Yesterday I finally took the plunge. I prepared myself by waiting until I was so hungry for lunch that even lima beans sounded like a reasonable alternative to starvation.
[I utterly loathe lima beans. ]
I read through Mooselet’s instructions carefully and commenced preparations.
When the toaster dinged to let me know my toast was ready, so help me, I felt this enormous sense of doom. I actually had the trash can out and ready in case I needed to expel my toast rapidly.
Just a bit advice: Do NOT smell the Vegemite before you eat it or you’ll seriously consider backing out. Also, I thought that Vegemite would have a grainy texture and was surprised to see that it was shiny brown and smooth. I could draw comparisons here to beef fat, but I don’t want to put you off.
I buttered my toast and then added a tiny pea-sized dollop of Vegemite to one corner. I spread it thinly, took a deep breath, and took a bite.
It didn’t suck!
In fact, it was strangely addictive. I ended up adding more Vegemite to the rest of my toast and eating it Aussie style. I am not kidding. Other than adding a salty flavor to the toast, it didn’t really have much other flavor. Maybe it would if I had spread it on with a more liberal hand, but I’m not about to tempt fate.
And because I know you’re thinking about it, here are the lyrics to Men at Work’s fabulous song “Land Down Under”:
Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,
Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, do you speak-a my language?
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich
And he said,
I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?
And he said,
Oh! do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
No, I have no idea what all that means either. The video is even more strange, but it is highly entertaining.
If you’re at all interested, you should take a look at the Vegemite website, which includes recipes. Oh, and the Wikipedia article on it is quite interesting.
So that was my plunge into Food You Eat On A Dare. Don’t ask me to try haggis any time soon. Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about chocolate, as we do every Friday. Now THAT is something I will do for you people.
Oh Jen. Jen Jen Jen. Haggis is WONDERFUL (when properly prepared.) I would never in a million years eat it in America though. It’s one of those things where you have to have a native Scot prepare it for you in the homeland. Aye.
I tried it on a dare. It was faaabulous.
i love vegemite! i should get some… i dated a guy ages ago who’s sister married an aussie. he was super cool. he, his 1 year old son and my bf were sadly the only ones in the family who liked me.
i need some vegemite. i wonder where i can get it here in madison?
Hey, go you for trying vegemite.
Personally, I’m a huge fan of it – having been born and raised in New Zealand….. most people here are Marmite fans, seeing as Vegemites an Aussie thing……. if you ever try Marmite, it’s okay too. It’s sweeter than Vegemite.
Try adding a heaped teaspoonful or so to ground beef when you’re browning it for cottage pie. Yummy.
I sampled Vegemite years ago and also found it oddly tasty. I just don’t like looking at it.
In my family growing up, we always said “What you mean we, kemosabe?” It was from an old Stan Freburg comedy routine about the founding of America.
Hey, something that is made of leftover yeast that were used in the production of beer can’t be bad! It’s simply impossible!
Ha, to be honest I haven’t even heard about the stuff till now, but it looks like something I’d love to sink my teeth in. Exotic food can be either amazing or utterly disgusting, but that’s the chance you have to take.
Jen, you are totally awesome. In the interests of fairness, I must point out that while I know the proper way to make Vegemite toast (or crackers or sandwiches) I don’t actually eat it. I can’t stand it, so you are a better woman than me. Clive likes it, though, so we do keep it in stock at Chez Mooselet.
Jeff over at View From the Cloud had a “taste-off” between Vegemite and the English version Marmite, and let’s just say he wasn’t as, um, upbeat on it as you:
http://www.viewfromthecloud.com/2008/02/marmite-vs-vegemite-taste-test.html
Let me know if you want more of the stuff!
I knew where this was going when I read the title. No taste? I will try some if you have it on stock otherwise I don’t forsee me picking this up at the International store.
I eat Vegemite every single day. I take it on holiday with me when going overseas. Tomato and Vegemite on toast is great. Or cucumber and Vegemite on toast. Mmmmm. Vegemite on fresh white bread. Mmmm.
Next time, get Mooselet to send you over a packet of Tim Tams. You really need to do a Tim Tim Slam. Now that is mmmmm.
That song is great. I saw the band Men At Work many years ago in a local pub. I get the meaning of the song. Kooky and life affirming.
I absolutely love this! (The post, not the vegimite)!
After Vegemite, you DESERVE chocolate!
A couple of things:
1. Haggis isn’t all that bad. At least the haggis I had at a Robert Burns dinner at the Scottish Club in Windsor Ontario. I mean, people eat hot dogs every day, and there’s not *that* big of a difference in the origins of those two ‘meats’.
2. I like Vegemite too. But the toast must be buttered when hot.
3. I remember a joke about Tonto and the Lone Ranger where “What do you mean ‘we’ Kemosabe?” was the punch line.
I’m another one who says “who you mean ‘we’, kemosabe?” but I never knew the origin.
Add me to the I Loathe Lima Beans club, too, please!
Oh good. Now i don’t ever need to try it
I think you’re very adventuresome for eating the vegemite. You need to get someone to dare you to eat Nutella.
We say, “who you calling ‘we,’ white man?” I think it descends from the Kemo Sabe. thing.
Yay for you!
Now, sink those teeth into some chocolate.
Frank brought some vegemite home from his trip to Australia but I think I made the mistake of smelling it first!
I’ve got my Tim Tams stashed away where he can’t find them!
To me, vegemite tastes like straight miso paste, or like a big bite out of a boullion cube. I read somewhere that vegemite is one of the foods that produces the sense of “umami” which I think is the Japanese word for a taste sense specifically sensitive to the delicious.
Wow. You are brave. I saw Vegemite in the store once (yes! You can get it in the States!) and was thoroughly grossed out.
Never had Vegemite. But I always loved that Men at Work song! *grin* Thanks for being brave and giving us the scoop. I now feel I don’t ever need to try it unless I’m lucky enough to be trying it while IN Australia!
Sorry, your description did NOTHING to make me think I’d ever try Vegemite. It’s on my list with brains /sweetbreads of any type.
Haha, I’ve always thought I’d try it someday. I guess you can go down under and totally fit in now
I LOVE Vegemite! I lived in England for 6 months during my college years and fell in love with it. I didn’t like the UK version, Marmite – it’s stronger.
Now, I get it from a UK import store on the other side of town, along with my favorite PG Tips tea bags.
Really? I thought it would suck. Hmmm.
BTW, thanks. Now that song is STUCK in my head.
your courage inspires me. go jen!
My husband and I were in England a few years ago. The four items that were kept behind the counter at one grocery store in Bristol were booze, cigarettes, peanut butter and Vegemite. Who knew?
Haggis is nasty. At least the haggis served at the festival at the Evergreen Presbyterian Church in Memphis, bless their hearts .
Mmmmmm….or, get white bread, butter it, smear the Vegemite, layer with salt and vinegar crisps and you’ve got yourself a meal!
Oh, you brave gal. It reminds of Vitavetavegemin from Lucille Ball~Nutella is GOOD! Marmite I tried once and it was super salty. I think if you’re brought up on this stuff you get used to it…kind of like caviar!
that video was strangely bizarre but oh my very funny.
Vegemite…going to check out website…I am intrigued!
I can’t get past the smell.
Time for a haggis tasting…McSweens make the best and I am sure they export…
I was going to share with you my exciting fact about Vegemite but then I realised it was on the Wikipedia fact…Still love the fact it used to be called “Parwill” though…
My mum is Australian, and loves the stuff. The 50% of me that is British outweighs the 50% that is Australian and I can’t ABIDE it! So good on you for trying it