For reasons unknown to me, the May 2009 Anthropologie catalog arrived in the Jenworld mailbox the other day. I find this perplexing because I’ve never shopped at Anthropologie and am definitely not cool enough to do so.
Anthropologie’s target audience appears to be 21 year old women who are a size 0. Every single article of clothing only looks good on tall, skinny, bosom-less women. Can someone tell me how I got on their mailing list? Seriously, I am not tall, skinny, or bosom-less, and we all know that I’m nearly double 21 years old.
Anyway, the front of the catalog looks like this:
While the image might look like a watercolor to you, it’s actually a photo of a model taken underwater. That’s right — underwater. In fact, the first dozen pages are all underwater. You know, because this catalog will be all about summer clothes, including things that you might wear in a pool or on an outing to a lake or possibly even the ocean.
While I can appreciate that the Anthropologie marketing people were trying to be artistic, the unintended effect was to make me squint a each photo and say something like, “What the hell is that?!” In several cases, I’d think I was looking at, say, some sort of scarf or wrap, when in fact it was an earring. I am not kidding.
But, in the interests of producing a blog post from this interesting thing that ended up in Jenworld, I perused the catalog carefully and took some notes.
Check out this bathing suit. When you look at the photos, it looks a bit odd and is rather unflattering. It’s high-waisted, yet the model’s teeny little flat ass is hanging out. You’d think the designers could have shifted some of the fabric around for better coverage.
But it’s when you look at a frontal image of the swimsuit that you get the full effect of just how unflattering this article of clothing is. What’s with the Marie Antoinette-esque ruffles going down the sides? It’s just bizarre. I’m almost expecting some sort of bustle on the back, except that the back looks like the front. And, it’s also in a color that I can only describe as “lint.” If you’re going to have the frivolity of ruffles on your hips, why not go for a cheery color and/or pattern?
Also, two words: Camel. Toe. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Anthro also has a cowlneck tunic that makes no sense whatsoever — it’s sleeveless, yet has yards of material around the neck. What kind of climate is this good for? If you live in a place where it’s hot, all that material is going to make you sweat, then absorb the sweat, and the effect will be ruined by the dark sweat stains. Oh wait — maybe the cowlneck is there so you can wipe your sweaty brow?
But if you live in a chilly place, then you need a bit more coverage than a sleeveless tunic can provide. Maybe you’re supposed to tuck your arms under the cowlneck?
At least it has a drawstring waist, so that you can adjust the fit, depending on how many hot dogs you ate at the company picnic.
I did see some things that I thought were cute, including these espadrilles. Alas, they are $158 and no summer shoe is worth that kind of money. I also think that these, these, and these are cute, but they’re all overpriced too.
So I looked and looked and didn’t find a single thing that I would wear that was also affordable AND would look good on my ample figure. But, as I said earlier, I’m not exactly Anthropologie’s target audience.
Moving on to the housewares section, however, I found some things that were interesting.
I think these votives are cute, but I’m not so sure about the hanging-them-up part. You know that whole fire-that’s-swaying-in-the-breeze thing.
These measuring cups would make a great wedding gift for someone, but I don’t know who.
And I think these goldfish glasses are so cute. In fact, I like all of Anthropologie’s glassware.
Much of their lighting can be classified in the “Martha Stewart meets Liberace” department — including this chandelier that I just know a certain 8 year old would love to have in her bedroom — but I like this light and this one. This one, however, would never enter my house, as I’m pretty sure the owl’s eyes would watch me all the time and possibly even give me nightmares.
So that’s the end of my review of Anthropologie. In short, I’m not sure what the big deal is. I know that some of you like it a lot, but you’re obviously way hipper and cooler than I am.
You know, in regards to the tunic, I’ve never understood clothing like that either. It’s like short-sleeved turtleneck sweaters. I just don’t get it.
Those shoes are super cute, but I could probably find something similar at Payless for a whole lot less. I do like that chandelier, though!
Yeah, I’m notsomuch the target consumer for them either, but I do occasionally hop on their website to surf through their housewares. I have a soft spot for their patterned plates and dishes, although I don’t own a singe one.
I keep trying to picture what I’d look like in that bathing suit (which surely doesn’t even come in my size) but then I feel slightly nauseous and now I have to lay down.
I love the goldfish glasses….but was that price for ONE?! Don’t they know how my children (and husband!) treat glassware? But their 21 year old target audience probably doesn’t have children, and her boyfriend is likely much better behaved. Alas, I guess I’ll have to make do with my IKEA glasses a little longer.
I love to browse the Anthropologie catalog, but like you, I am definitely not the target audience. A few years ago I somehow got on the Delia*s mailing list. I had to call them up and put a stop to their delusion that I was a skinny teenager. I let the Anthropologie folks continue with their misconception just because I need some fuel for my fantasy life as a thin person.
Now what I want to know is who ratted me out and put me on the JMS (Just My Size) plus-sized catalog mailing list.
*laughing* I can make you that owl lamp…it must be true about everything old is new again!! Check any Sally Ann’s for owl ceramics!
That said (sneered?? Not really) I LOVE those measuring cups. I have a thing for painted dishes…
I’m 25 and have NEVER found anything I liked at Anthro. That store is weird.
I prefer the flower measuring cups. : ) I like Anthro for the housewares…not that I can afford any of it. I looked long and hard at a lot of their pendant lights for the kitchen, but yikers. Found something similar elsewhere for less than half!
They’ve never made the mistake of putting me on their mailing list. Now, if I could just get Pottery Barn to stop dropping me from their list! (I only buy from them once in a blue moon – but I love their catalogs.)
The fine folks at Anthro must know I’m not in their target market, as my mail box hasn’t been graced by this catalog that sounds, frankly, fascinating.
This is rather the way I feel when I get a new Pottery Barn catalog. Who are these people in their perfectly accessorized home offices?
Funny, I just got the catalog yesterday and the whole underwater thing served only to destract me and cause me to wonder what would be required to produce that catalog:
A fervent art director pitching the underwater thing, a photographer with an underwater portfolio, tech assistants grumbling at the impossible shots they were asked to set up, and of course all the otherwise re-usable articles of clothing and bedding completely destroyed by chorline and/or pond water!
I say its for the DC fashionistas who typically either attend GWU or Georgetown or work as an intern on Capital Hill. Most normal people don’t wear that.
Oh Jen. With your love of catalogs, and your addiction to gardening, you neeeeeed (yes, that’s how badly you need) to sign yourself up for the Lee Valley Tools gardening catalog. In the world of gardening porn, it’s the sex toy store.
http://www.leevalley.com/home/CatalogSelect.aspx?c=1
(And they are headquartered right here in Ottawa. Also, the gift catalog, which doesn’t seem to be offered on that page is way cool. They have some amazing kitchen tools and gadgets.)
And it’s just so darn expensive!
I’m not even cool enough to receive the catalog!
I’m one of the people that raves about it. (Sorry). Anthropologie isn’t a brand in itself, like J.Crew, but a showcase of clothes from a lot of different designers, so if you’re a fan of a particular line, you can sometimes get it cheaper at Anthropologie than at a boutique. That explains why some of their clothes are so “out there.” I did think the underwater shots were not the greatest idea for a catalog. You could hardly see the clothes! I agree that whoever buys for them loves exaggerated cowl necks a little too much, but Anthropologie is my go-to place for pants that are more interesting than a basic chino and for dresses.
I wandered into one of their stores in Chicago. Picked up a package of beautiful writing paper. Saw the price. Turned around and left.
(And yea, there’s no way their clothing would fit on my a$$ either.)
That chandelier is $1598!
I used to work near an Anthropologie and found some nice sale stuff — hidden away in the back of the third floor. None of the clothes fit, of course, but I did get a great lampshade and two beaded pictures frames.
It’s not my taste either. Too pricey and too, um, yeah, you said it.
Oh, yeah. if it’s not plastic, it won’t work at my house. But maybe I can get Blayne a dress. They should fit HER, right?
The times I’ve been there, I feel way too intimidated by the other super cool shoppers. I only make a bee-line towards the sale section once I walk in too.
Is their target audience women who are dead?
I love Anthropology. I have no idea why except that I love the elegance of it, but not the cost, the sizing, or the ridiculousness of alot of their products. Though sometimes you can get a good deal. sometimes you walk into the store and find the perfect over priced sweater, my happy bowls come from there, my favorite coffee mug, etc.
I will post something about Anthropologie and finding the needle in the haystack there! Every once in a while you can find something reasonable and perfect.
Though I think I like dreaming of anthropologie and the elegance it gives off, but not the reality of it.
WHoa that was a ridiculously long post about I think I like it!
And the comment about the perfect overpriced sweater was supposed to have that you can find it on sale. Gah I am stopping now!
Effin hilarious critique of the catalogue. You should do this for every catalogue. It’s so refreshing to have someone highlighting the awful mistakes designers make rather than just the nice stuff. In fact, I may have to start doing it myself. Now, how DID you get that catalogue?
Maybe you got a catalog because we are getting a local shop soon…. Of course it’s more likely just random address list buying by them.
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