As my 40th birthday approaches (five weeks — gasp!), I’ve been pondering a few important things I’ve learned over the years (and as recently as this week) and thought I’d share them with you:
- When you pour yourself a drink, such as a Coke, DO NOT then decide to add ice from your High Velocity Ice Dispenser on the front of your fridge. You will need to change shirts and mop up the floor. And the front of the fridge. And possibly the counter nearby.
- Even though it took the Post Office nearly three weeks to figure out how to forward our mail when we moved, somehow the U.S. government figured it out without any help from us. I got an official document from them three weeks after we moved. I’m still stunned by this amazing display of efficiency and accuracy.
- I have learned to never ever play around with a clock of any kind on a Friday night, because the alarm will most definitely go off at 5:30 on Saturday morning, even though I did not touch the alarm function of said clock.
- I have also learned that, if you move out of a house and decide to turn off the fridge in order to save electricity, it is VERY IMPORTANT to leave the fridge open in order to air out. Otherwise, you’ll be dealing with a nasty case of black mold.
- I have learned that I really shouldn’t stay up until midnight or later reading good books. It messes up my sleep schedule. Yet, I’ve done it the past two nights in a row. (More on those books in another post.) I guess that means that technically, I haven’t learned this one at all, as it’s a mistake I keep repeating.
- Rice Krispy Treats are vastly improved if you increase the amount of marshmallows used. Also, coat the pot and your spoon well with melted butter first and it will make the rest of the process go much easier.
- Apparently, magazine editors think that Americans are utter idiots and that we’ll believe anything we see. They’ll use photoshop until a model no longer even appears human and expect us to believe that’s how she really looks. See today’s Mamarazzi for more on that. Even better, check out today’s post at Might I Add — there’s a short video on this very topic. Trust me, it’s worth your time.
Unfortunately, there’s also still a lot that I need to learn:
- What # means in Twitter. Seriously. Can anyone clue me in?
- The appeal of reality TV. Why?
- How to apply makeup. I’m not kidding. I’ve even had professionals show me. I still don’t get it. I think I’m lacking a critical sequence in my DNA or something.
So today’s discussion topic: What have you learned recently and/or what do you still need to learn?
I learned that if you coat your pan and spoon (not a wooden spoon) with butter, the Rice Krispies will not stick to the pan.
And thanks to you, I think I am going to try making them this weekend!
In the past, I learned a lot of what you did (especially that refrigerator one). Lately, I’ve learned that I will never stop worrying about something. If I let one thing go, another will pop into my head. Sigh.
I’ve learned when I have a mile long list of things to do outside in March….we will have a blizzard. *gah*
Those hashtags are for folks tracking subject in twitter. Get the scoop: http://twitter.pbwiki.com/Hashtags and http://hashtags.org/
(I just figured it out a couple days ago…still not inclined to use it.)
Loved this post Jen
I’m right with you on the # in Twitter.
Let’s see, what have I learned…
-Your abs won’t get toned unless you actually commit to working on them.
-I am capable of using my left hand independently of my right hand, though in conducting it sometimes feels very odd
-Ice wine is one of the tastiest treats in the world
-The time change in the Spring makes it darker in the morning, not lighter, as I originally decided…thus my morning walks STILL have not resumed.
I’ve learned how to do 4th grade math thanks to a tutorial yesterday morning from Mr. T’s teacher and I’ve learned a few fine points about my karate form thanks to my pal Logan (who still thinks I’m 25, sweet kid).
I always add extra marshmallows. You have to.
the refrigerator thing and the rice krispie thing are important lessons I’ve learned.
let’s see…
this week I learned that you have to put the mats back into the car right after you vaccuum them or someone will immediately track something nasty into the car.
that’s all I got.
I didn’t understand the Twitter hashtag until recently. Even though I was at the BlogHer conference and they were talking all about it. And I would see people adding it to their tweets and I’m like “WTF people?”
I have no idea how to apply make-up either. I use foundation and mascara every day. That’s all I can handle. I have no idea how to put on eye shadow. I need to become rich and famous and hire someone to do it for me.
I learned that if you have a cat that weighs as much as your average 2 year old, and he poops as much as your average 2 year old, you had better spring for the really expensive kitty litter.
I’ve learned that
- you can make rice krispie treats in one bowl in the microwave.
- taking your car’s snow tires off triggers a blizzard
- if you have a child sitting on your lap who starts to vomit, you will instinctively try to catch the vomit in your cupped hands so as to avoid messing up the couch
- your forties are your best decade yet. For real. Welcome them.
Heck, why do you think I read you? I’m trying to learn the stuff I’d otherwise miss out on.
I also agree with Alison. I’ve learned that I like being in the 40′s, WAY more than I ever thought I would.
I don’t get hashtags either.
And I’d get a professional to show you how to apply makeup again. I think the last pro was probably just a dud.
Every time I think of the US Govt or USPS it just makes me want to ask “did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?”
The ripe old age of 26, I learned never to scoff at old people because one day, I will be that old person.
40 isn’t that bad Jen although being 48 and having your un-human like face photoshoped onto a 23 year’s old body is bad.
Cheers from afar!
I learned that I really don’t want to remember my dreams. Nope.
I have learned many, many times that I should not cut my own hair.
You HAVE to add extra marshmallows. And Vanilla. And if you have some, a little splash of cream. Then they taste REALLY good.
Dooce had #pregnant on her Twitter yesterday. Is it like tagging your blog posts?
I’ve learnt that no matter what, always stoke your man’s ego; a cat will go missing for exactly one day when you move house; everyone in my suburb drives a VW Golf, including me; roast chicken heals all wounds.
Oof – I’m still learning the up too late reading thing too.
Hey there,
the # just associates you with that word, so you’ll show up in a search on Twitter for that word. I’m learning about SEO but don’t really want to be in the results if someone’s searching for it, so if I use the phrase SEO, I don’t #SEO.
More later on the life lessons and things I *need* to learn.
Looking forward to the post about the books.
Also! I thought I was the only one in the dark when it comes to reality TV. I’ve never seen an episode of American Idol or The Bachelor, which I’m okay with.
The photoshop thing is getting out of control…took me forever in the grocery store to recognize Sandra Bullock on this cover…
http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2009/02/sandra-bullock-instyle-march-2009.jpg
First, sorry for duplicating the twitter answer–need to read your comments before posting!
The biggest thing that I’ve learned is that every family has a formula that makes it work–which usually includes some sacrifice on both partners’ parts. But you get an exponential payback in big love and happy kids!
I also know that regardless of how many miles I run or bike, I’ll always have a big butt, so I need to do it for joy, period.
One thing I really need to learn is how on earth to shape my eyebrows. 43 years old and I still have no clue!
What do I need to learn? That a 17-year-old boy can be as hormonal and b*t*hy as a 17-year-old girl.
And thanks for asking about the #.