Okay, so Friday is the Big Day. Moving van and all that. No, I haven’t completely lost my shit yet, but I am insanely busy with the move and with my job. Luckily, I was wise enough to bring in guest bloggers this week. Today’s post is by Kristabella, who is one of the funniest bloggers I’ve never met. But, one day, we will meet. And it will be great. Kristabella is working on buying her very first home and I’m enjoying reading about the process because it’s so much more fun than thinking about my own impending move.
Hi there Jen on the Edge readers! My name is Kristabella and I blog over here. I sometimes write drunken posts and other times write about Bacon. But not the meat. Bacon is a folder that I have that predicts things and can tell your fortune. He’s a salty, snarky Magic 8 Ball. It’s funny, I swear. Well, maybe only to me.
Jen asked me to guest post for her since she’s busy moving into her awesome new house. I’m 100 kinds of jealous because from her photos online, it is an AWESOME house! I’m actually currently looking at becoming a first-time home buyer myself here in the near future. But because I’m poor and won’t live in the suburbs, I’m going to be living in an over-priced shoebox. But I’m OK with it because it is less to clean. And I am the laziest person you’ll ever meet.
Anyway, that wasn’t what I came here to talk about. I wanted to make a confession. I wanted to tell all of you, all you strangers that I don’t know, that I do not understand Facebook. I don’t get it. And I fear that admitting this makes me 100 years old.
I’m on there. I have friends, I’m in the blog network, I have a profile photo, but that’s about where it ends. I find it a useful tool in that people I knew five years ago, who I’ve lost touch with, I’ve gotten reconnected with. That’s kind of cool, I suppose.
But that is where my understanding and acceptance of it ends.
I tell myself that I don’t get it because I’m very active online and in other social media outlets. I have a blog, I am on Twitter, and I am on Flickr. I guess that Facebook is the combination of all these three into one place, but I guess I feel like I don’t need to add one more time suck into my already hectic online life. I mean, why would I poke someone? And what the hell is a Super Poke? Is this supposed to be fun? POKING IS NOT FUN! Poking is a form of torture, people. I bruise like a peach. I do not want to be poked, online or otherwise.
And what the hell is all this “flair”? Why do I need it? And why do I want to plant a fake garden? Unless I’m getting real vegetables out if it, what is the point? And don’t get me started on the happy hours and the alcohol gifts. Look, people, if you want to give me a drink, I want you to go out and buy me a drink. At a bar. With cute boys. A drink gift “badge” does nothing for helping what ails me. And what ails me is people poking me and giving me phantom drinks.
Can we talk about the Wall? And the messages back and forth? I mean, SEND ME AN EMAIL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! It’s a lot easier to long on to email at work than it is to log on to Facebook. If you want to know how I’m doing or how winter is treating me, just send me a damn email.
When I first joined, I added every single person as friends . Friends from high school, online friends, you name it. Now I actually look back at my old self and want to slap her with a shoe . I didn’t particularly enjoy high school. Why would I want to go back and relive it by being friends with people who I HATED back then? I mean, I’m “Friends” online with a girl I’ve “known” since greade school and never once in the course of the last 25+ years have we been friends. In fact, I HATED her in grade school because she smelled.
And since I’m 31 and single, adding formerly smelly childhood acquaintances as friends and seeing that even they are married with three kids is kind of a blow to the ego. And NO, formerly smelly girl (although, to be honest, she could still be smelly) I DO NOT want to buy popcorn from your son’s Cub Scout den!
I don’t get it. I don’t see why it is a “time suck” for so many people. I don’t usually log in for days, unless I get a friend request. Like the one yesterday from a girl who wouldn’t know my name in high school let alone now. I didn’t hang out with he pot-smoking crowd. I was a band nerd. WE WERE NOT FRIENDS. I don’t like to be tagged in photos from 15 years ago. I have a reputation to uphold. One that doesn’t include bad hair and 90s fashion.
Please tell me I’m not alone.
Oh my gosh – you have solidified every single thing about Facebook that I have thought. I like the idea, but the mechanics? I’m not so good at. I mean, why not email? What is a wall? What the hell is an ornament or a green thing? I’m lost. I’m sticking with bloggin, and tweeting and email. WOOT!
Got to admit I like Facebook, it’s an easy way to share photos with family and friends. I even have a couple of friends I poke regularly, though I’ve never super-poked anyone.
I do find the friend thing a bit hard to handle, I have accepted quite a few requests from people from the past, I feel I can’t say no, but I do restrict what they can see from me using the limited profile stuff.
My weirdest request is from a 14 year old, whose mum I know. I’m really not comfortable having her linked to me so I’ve been ignoring it. I’d link to her mum if she was on facebook, but not her.
I have the fewest facebook friends of anyone, I swear. Why do I want someone I’d never talk to in real life on there? My real use of facebook? Online Scrabble with my mom and sister, and since they’re private games, we ‘chat’ there too. So now who’s the nerd?
I am in agreeance about not wanting to share details of my life with my high school classmates. I check the status my facebook once a week but I have friends and family who do it daily. Its creepy.
I have resisted Facebook even though I get requests all the time. I don’t want tobe poked, I don’t want to plant shit, and I don’t need to chat with Stuckup McPreppypants either.
Facebook has sucked me in. I originally created a page for work purposes but it has taken over my life. Green Patches, Causes, Mob Wars, Parking Wars….in any one given day, I can have up to 100 of those “notifications”. I usually only take the funny quizzes and ignore everything else.
It took me months to make any sort of effort over at FB and, like you, I added every dope I had ever sat next to in school or went on a crummy date with… I’ve since done much editing and deleting… I figure they won’t even notice and if they do, who cares.
That being said – I love it. I poke, I post, I upload…
With as much detachment as I can muster, I’m trying to understand my feelings about Facebook. It is nice to reconnect with some friends, for sure. But, golly, there were some people we didn’t care enough to keep in touch with and some people who we flat out never wanted to hear from again, and they’re finding us. That’s why there is the IGNORE button, I suppose.
I totally agree with you! Facebook is kind of dumb, especially for someone our age. We don’t (or shouldn’t if we have jobs and a life) have time to spend hours on there each week poking each other, throwing pirate bombs, buying each other fake booze…I got sucked in for a few weeks and found it a big time suck. I also got annoyed with people requesting to be my friend who I don’t talk to! I can’t keep up with the friends who are important to me, let alone those yahoos! Oh, and I get way to into the cyber-stalking thing…FB makes it too easy
(I guess that one is on me!). Oh, and some people who “collect” friends like it is a contest…hmmm. AND, people who advertise on there….hmmm. I don’t know. I need to stop now. Boy, this venting feels good!!
I haven’t touched Facebook and don’t plan to. I enjoy being anonymous on the web.
I feel better now. I’m not on Facebook and this? Further proof that I’ve made the right choice.
Hallelujah, sistah! I completely agree aboutFB, having recently joined it (and thanks for the follow, “friend!”) I’m convinced it’s also evil incarnate, with the most malevolent malware embedded in it. Wanna see your speed crawl while it “pulls your friends and networks so its evil little applets can work?” Blimey.
Hi.Lar.I.Ous post, as usual, KJ. So happy for you and new condo!
There is a lot about it I don’t care for (flair, poking, quizzes, applications), but there is also stuff I really like. I like the photo tagging (if only so I know what pics of me are out there!) and seeing the links among the people I know. I agree about the wall posts. I, of course, leave them, but I always think, “is this something i want everyone to read?”
I am so happy someone has brought this up and talked about the pros and cons. I recently joined (after pressure from a family member) and am kinda on the fence whether I really like it or not. It absolutely is a “time sucker” which I would rather be reading a book if I had the time, but there is something seductive about it that pulls you in. I really don’t understand all the stuff on there which almost seems like another language. Also not to sure how I feel about “just being out there and exposed” with my real name and some personal details and all. Thanks to everyone for giving their comments, positive or negative.
You are so not alone. I got friended by a girl who accused me of stealing her boyfriend in high school. Seriously? Does she not remember crying and screaming at me in the middle of a party?
And the flair? Do I want to have a snowball fight? NO. That’s why I live in LA. We don’t have snowballs.
You’re hilarious. And I love your bacon.
Well, I’m the lone chick who enjoys Facebook. I don’t Twitter and can’t figure out how to text people on my phone.
I don’t friend anyone I don’t like. And have reconnected with people who because we’ve gotten married, had kids and moved away, haven’t been in touch with in years.
Maybe it is because I’m a SAHM, and I don’t really have an outside network of friends, but I enjoy it. I can have virtual drinks with my best friend from high school. She lives four hours from here and has two small kids.
Not that I’m an idiot and have no real life friends, just now I have more….and that’s cool with me.
I recently read a science fiction work called, ‘The Machine Stops’ that describes (a future?) where mankind has become completely adverse to physical touch and actual face-to-face contact(virtual is okay.) Instead, lives are lived out in a sort of solitary confinement and the entirety of human intercourse including family, work, recreation is advanced through ‘the Machine.’
Shocking…. that it was written in 1908 by the author of “Howard’s End,” no less.
love it and love both your blogs. (I just went through the refi process and the buying out my future SIL and buying a house with my fiance process. fun!)
I KNOW i’m too old for facebook and yet, it’s harkening some 12-year-old self of mine that I love. I love the 25-thing lists, the “i have 400 friends” thing, the -huh, so my ex is an neonatal massage practitioner. huh” .” thing.
so … for a while anyway… there i’ll dwell. till i feel just Too ridiculous on it. long as my EVEN OLDER friends are still there that day’s still a ways away