Have any of you seen the new Martha Stewart Christmas magazine that recently hit newsstands?
Do you see that line at the top?
“Have yourself a handmade Christmas.”
I saw this magazine and just knew that I had to bring it home and discover what wondrous ideas The Martha has in mind for us this holiday season. I am a huge fan of homemade/handmade (what’s the difference anyway?) gifts. Seriously. I love giving people something either made by someone in Jenworld or by an artist or crafter.
[On a related note: Don't forget to leave a comment for a chance to win the earrings I'm giving away!]
So, getting back to the magazine… We all know that The Martha is serious about her homemade/handmade gifts. The Martha does not go out and buy presents for her loved ones and minions. Oh no. She MAKES every single gift, by golly. It wouldn’t surprise me if she kept a herd of sheep specifically so that she could shear their wool, make some yarn, and knit her staff their own argyle socks.
As for the magazine, The Martha doesn’t pussyfoot with her readers. Oh no. The Martha’s readers are serious about their homemade gifts, so she jumps right into it and starts the action on page 6, where I learned how to make cinnamon-scented bird-shaped ornaments.
Given how much we love wildlife (that’s three different links) here in Jenworld, this is the perfect craft for me. (Not.) Plus, this craft involves me rolling out dough with a rolling pin and cutting out bird shapes. (I’m on the record as not liking that sort of thing.) I think I’ll pass on this one.
Flipping through the pages of the magazine…
Oh my, glittered silk flowers. Basically, you take fake flowers, b’dazzle the shit out of them, and you have a Martha-esque holiday decoration. I had no idea she got her ideas from Walmart.
More flipping through the magazine…
Lots of beaded stuff… More glittery stuff… GIlded egg ornaments, using real eggs hatched by your very own chickens.
To recap: beads, glitter, gilt. My word, it’s like this magazine was tailor-made for Elegant.
Then we move on to the baked goods. The very first thing The Martha offers us is frosted sugar cookies. You know, the kind that involve a rolling pin and cookie cutters. Didn’t I just say five or six paragraphs ago that I don’t do that sort of thing?
The very next page: Gingerbread people. Nope, not doing that either. A few pages later: Marshmallow snowflakes. That’s homemade marshmallows in a complicated shape, people. A few more pages later: Hand-shaped cookies. More rolling pins and cookie cutters.
Damn. The Martha clearly has it out for me.
Ahhh… Page 54 — Felted wool gifts. Now we’re talking. Of course, I’m not going to make a woolen pouch for hot water bottles. I mean, come on, who still uses those? But, you know what? The hot water bottle cover would make an excellent flask cozy.
Flipping more pages…
Handpainted china? I think not. Stenciled baby onesies… blah blah blah… block printed linens… blah blah blah… pinecone crafts, hell to the no… blah blah blah…
Oh, this looks interesting — a no knit scarf. You’re supposed to use 12 pieces of really chunky yarn and then tie knots in various places. Doesn’t that sound an awful lot like macrame? I gave it a try and it looked exactly like 12 pieces of chunky yarn that had knots in them. As in, not at all like a scarf.
Moving right along… Flipping through lots more crafts…
Ah, here we go. Page 80. The beginning of the “wrappings and cards” section. This is where The Martha truly excels. What are the odds she’ll have us making our own wrapping paper?
Let’s see… Make your own pom-pom bows… Blah blah blah… Some fancy ribbon stuff… More glitter… Translucent wrapping paper — doesn’t that defeat the purpose of wrapping paper?
And here it is… Page 86. How to make your own gift bags. I don’t know about y’all, but if I need gift bags, the only making I’ll be doing is making myself magically appear at Target, where I’ll just buy some.
Then, on page 91, The Martha offers “alternative gift wrap.” Newspapers and colorful ribbon. Isn’t that the same gift wrap we all use when it’s 1:45 p.m. and our child has to be at a birthday party at 2:00?
On page 92, The Martha starts in on the homemade greeting cards. Page after page of gorgeous homemade cards. Just lovely. I love the idea, but the reality is that we send out around 110 cards every year. I’m not making cards from scratch. Not even one.
And then that’s the end. 120 pages and I’m not at all inspired. Other than the entertainment value from just reading The Martha’s magazine, it really didn’t offer me much of anything.
Oh well, I don’t actually need any gift ideas this year, as I’m nearly done with my shopping. Yes, I’ve bought some homemade items from Etsy and other places, but I won’t be making anything myself. Not this year. Not when we have too much going on. But next year…
What about you, my friends? Are you making any gifts for anyone this Christmas?
All images courtesy of courtesy of MarthaStewart.com.
I bought Martha’s ‘Make your own Christmas gifts and drive yourself insane’ issue last year. Didn’t make a thing. Though I DID use the instructions for making your own snowglobes this fall, after the Princess dropped the cheap and ugly mermaid snowglobe we got as a ‘free gift’ at the waterpark in Niagara Falls – just a day after getting it home. And now she has a cheap and ugly HOMEMADE mermaid snowglobe on her dresser. But she’s happy. And quiet. And that was the point of the exercise.
I think I will make something lovely for myself. I’m not sure if my husband will have time to learn how to knit me a sweater for Christmas.
Yep, I’m stretching my novice knitting skills to the limit and doing some scarves and slippers. Martha would be proud.
Do cookies count? Starting last year, I make cookies (4 or 5 kinds) starting in November and I freeze them. Then I buy pretty tins and fill them with the cookies in December and the girls give them to teachers and neighbours and school bus drivers for Christmas presents. It’s a handmade gift, it’s not too expensive, and I bet they get a lot of crap that they don’t really need, but cookies are eaten and gone. Win-win-win.
I’ve done the Martha snowglobes and marshmallows. Homemade marshmallows are cool (but we just cut squares).
I always intend to make Christmas stockings out of my bag of red and green material scraps. But somehow it never happens.
I buy my homemade off of Etsy–without any apologies because I am not a crafty gal.
I’m scared of Martha–bedazzling? That’s crazay! But it does sound perfectly Elegant:)
You had me with flask cover *snort*
You just saved me the cost of the magazine–thank you!
And I’m with Peggy on the flask cozy *snort*
I’ll probably make baby Lily a soft doll, but anything else “homemade”? Hello, etsy!
I wish I had the time to make a few things as gifts this year – perhaps some knitted hats or scarves.
When I when to the Martha Stewart Show for bloggers (I want to be on the record here by saying I was there for the “blogger” part only), I was amazed with the amount of crazed “I want to be just like Martha” fans. They are dedicated people!
Actually, I quite like the hand painted china… as for gifts, well… I don’t think so, that’s what Etsy is for.
I’m knitting. I found a few people last year that didn’t get scarves from me.
So funny! For the past two years, I have driven my self CRAZY making both handmade blankets and holiday cards. I even bought The Martha’s magazine last year and got stressed out just reading it. I work full time, have two boys, am on the board at their school and nearly died of exhaustion between all of that and the zillion cookies we made. Not for me this year!
Etsy is calling me. I might make a few bracelets for my nieces, but that’s fun!
I am knitting too. Trying to save a few pennies for the Half Built House, but I’m also tired of buying things just to have something to give – I’d much rather spend a little time and make something that I know the person will love.
I have not thought about Christmas presents yet…
Am now going to read your comment section for ideas…
Didn’t you know? I canceled Christmas.
We’re doing hand-made for the extended families this year. I don’t know what I could hand-make Nate that he would like so I’m sticking with materialisticness with him. Toby’s getting recycled toys that I found in some of my old boxes, shh don’t tell.
My mom and grandma are getting knit afghans, my dad is getting a knit scarf, and my siblings are getting knit hats. Nate’s parents will be getting a Toby handprint ornament, and then the rest of the people we give gifts to get chicken soup mix and if I am feeling nice, a loaf of pumpkin bread. It’s going to be a busy year.
Christmas? What’s Christmas?
Thanks – you just saved me $5.00 of misery.
We make gifts every year – one year we made Italian sausage for everyone, one year I knitted 28 scarves, one year we marinated Manchego cheese…
For the record, we use hot water bottles here in Australia. Lots of people do. Seriously – a lot of houses don’t have central heating OR insulation, so it can get cold in winter, even in the sub-tropics where I am. Rather than get an electric bill that will give you a stroke by using space heaters, people use extra blankets and hot water bottles. Eco-friendly! Or that’s what I tell myself when I feel 90 years old as I fill up the hot water bottles.
But it would suck as a Christmas present as we’re all sweating on Christmas day – summer you know!
Public notice: Anyone who gives me any hand-made crap gets crossed off my machine-made Christmas card list.
I admit to being one of those that always makes *most* of my gifts. At least for the friends/co-worker category. Primarily because is easier to just pick a project and make a couple dozen then go out and find that perfect thing for each person. And they all love the yummies anyway. Someone in our immediate circle always gets a quilt. But that will end soon as nearly everyone now has one.
I had eyeballed that magazine, so thanks for saving me the moolah. Because none of those projects would be on my list either.
1) I think everyone is sick of getting jewelry for Christmas
2) I am about giving up on the Christmas card thing
3) I hope we can get a tree up this year.
November is the busiest time of the year for me and I’m lucky if I remember to get out of my pajamas before picking up Zack at school, let alone decorating like I used to.
When people ask me if I made something myself, I usually tell them yes. I made the trip to the store.
I would be a lot craftier if I had more time and energy. Lacking both of those, I make more trips to the store. I’ll also be making more purchases online. That counts, too, in my book, since I do it myself.
Handmade? Do people still do that? I think Poppy said it best when she said “machine-made Christmas card”.
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