Guess what I recently found out?
Actually, don’t guess. You’ll never figure this out. It’s THAT bizarre.
There are online dating sites for married people who want to have affairs.
I swear I am not making this up.
One particular’s site’s motto is: “Life is Short. Have an Affair.”
My motto is: “Life is short. Don’t make it shorter by having an affair, because your significant other will surely find out and back over you with the car. About 100 times. And you will die. And if you don’t, you’ll wish you had, because the divorce proceedings will be messy and expensive.”
Okay, that’s really more of a mission statement than a motto, but you get the point.
Getting back to the particular online I referenced above… According to my research (reading the main page of their website), they are “the world’s premiere discreet dating service with over 2,625,000 like minded members.”
Okay, not to nitpick, but isn’t “like-minded” hyphenated? Come on immoral online dating service web geeks, get your punctuation straight!
Oh yeah, and you should totally click over to that link just to see the photo on the home page. Yeah, was this website designed by MEN or what? Clearly, the woman in the photo is about to render a VERY personal service to the man. If they’re going to show that photo, I think they need to have a comparable one that goes the other way. I’m just sayin’…
If you scroll down the main page, down near the bottom, they have a couple of quizzes on why people cheat. All three are linked to Oprah’s website. I wonder if she knows?
Ooh! And, there’s a list of all the geographic areas where this online dating service has offices. Darn. There’s not one in my town.
The online dating service (I’m refusing to name names) has a guarantee: Have an affair to remember or they’ll give you your money back. Well that’s good, you wouldn’t want to waste your significant other’s paycheck on a lame affair, now would you?
After taking a look at the FAQ’s, I’m thinking that the people who write for that particular website (see, I’m still not naming names) didn’t go to very good schools. Wow, that’s some baaaaaad writing, grammar, capitalization, and so much more. I’m thinking the HR department isn’t checking college transcripts during the hiring process. Instead, the first question asked during an interview is, “Do you condone extramarital sex? You do? That’s great! Here’s your employment contract. As a signing bonus, we’ll give you one free affair!”
To have fully researched this website, I would have had to join and, people, I’ll do a lot for your entertainment, but joining an online dating service for married people is just not one of those things. If you have a problem with that, you come on over to Jenworld and talk to Pete about it, okay?
The dating service has run some TV ads, most of which have been pulled because people complained they were too racy. If you go to YouTube, you can find them pretty easily. You’ll never believe it, but they were even more tasteless and inappropriate than I thought was possible. Clearly, I’m not thinking boldly enough.
And don’t think that the website is limited only to married folks. Oh no. If you are a single person and you “wish to meet attached people for various reasons…” you are welcome to do so. Then there’s this long, bizarre, rambling paragraph talking about why it’s harder for singles to meet people on this particular website. It has to do with trust issues. Um, trust issues? That’s rich coming from a lyin’ cheatin’ sack o’ shit.
By the way, can you imagine what would happen if the Feds ever seized my computer and saw all the research I’ve done for this post? I did give Pete a head’s up in advance, just in case he looked at my search history and wondered. Oh, who am I kidding? Pete would see the search history and immediately know that I was working on a blog post. He’d never think that I’d have an affair. Well, that’s good to know in case Colin Firth ever emails me and makes a naughty suggestion.
Uh oh, I think I just blew my alibi.
how did you stumble across this?? I would never have known such sites were out there.
Guider: I saw a reference on someone else’s blog.
I have now seen everything. Holy. Crap.
People suck. Oh wait, that’s one of their mottoes, isn’t it?
There;s a big to-do out here about “protecting marriage,” i.e. banning same sex marriage. Those folks ought to crusade against this instead.
“As seen on Howard Stern” reads part of their advertisement. And there’s *nothing* that makes me want to buy a product like mentioning Howard Stern!
: O That’s me–jaw dropped, speechless . . .
p.s. I eagerly clicked on the link to your blog today with high hopes that there would be photos of something funky/cool/cute/pink that one of your girls was wearing because after my shopping trip with my son I need a good dose of cute!
This post wasn’t quite what I thought I’d find here today : )
If we lived near each other, I guarantee today we be spent setting up phony Yahoo accounts and using fake names to get ourselves into that search engine… it would make for a very festive Thursday!
BTW – is this the same “service” which provides cover for you if your spouse calls?
Ugh, it’s sickening. I’ve seen billboards for that agency, and there’s a group of Facebook about how awful it is. I mean seriously? What does that agency say about our society? It’s horrible.
I heard a commercial for that website on the radio the day before yesterday. I really doubt there are 2.6 million members. If there are, I don’t think they are real people. That website seems like a flaming dog turd on our society, doesn’t it?
That’s really sad!! How on earth did you hear about that website anyway?
The picture on their hompage just cracked me up. Like it’s ‘tasteful’ because its all misty and out of focus. My first thought, after doubting seriously that there are more than 2 million members, is that I imagine very few of the ‘members’ are as attractive or can afford as nice a hotel as the models in the blurry photo. Seriously.
Am I surprised a site like that exists? Not at all. Do you have any idea how much money is spent every day on online porn? It’s an amazingly lucrative business. This just seems to me as a natural outgrowth of that.
But it sucks though. Actively encouraging people to cheat on their spouses is just plain wrong.
Oh, and I wonder about the gender breakdown of the >2 million members. If only 112 of them are women, they better hope that the men members are pretty open minded about who they have affairs with, or the company will be refunding a whole lotta money. Snicker.
LMAO!!! You’ve just given me a reason to add to my “Why to never get married” list!!! I want to know who thought of these kind of services….are they married? Are they faithful? If you were their spouse would you trust them? Hmmmm….I think not!
More disturbing than the Hummer even. Oh the the directions a hummer comment could take now…
I never knew something like this existed. And there’s billboards for this?!!!! What’s happened that something like this is viewed as somewhat acceptable to be advertised out in the open? I’m no prude but this is unbelievable.
“wish to meet attached people for various reasons…”
Maybe I can get them to come do my laundry.
This makes me sick.
I think they run ads in the Personals section of our newspaper!
The “As Seen On…” list was a bit disturbing to me. Dr. Phil? Really? As seen on, like in a positive way? Dr. Phil? I kinda thought he was all about the healing, but not so much Marvin Gaye’s version.
I would click the link but if the hubs finds it in our history, he would question me…hehe, I’ll take your word for it