Dear Lowe’s,
You suck.
Having one employee available to staff the four self-checkout registers DOES NOT make up for the fact that you had exactly ZERO regular employee-operated registers open, nor was there a register available at the Customer Service desk.
Forcing your customers — including the elderly man with hands that were shaking like Amy Winehouse with DT’s — to use the self-checkout registers is shitty and just bad business practice. Believe me, many of my fellow Lowe’s customers were angry and cussing you. Even I learned a few new choice phrases today and that’s saying something since I learned from my stepfather, who was a sailor a long time ago.
Lowe’s, you suck.
Yes, I know you think that since you’re the only Big Box hardware store in my town that you can get away with crap like this, but you’re wrong. I plan to exercise my right to shop elsewhere.
Luckily for me, there are a few small locally-owned hardware stores in my town, not to mention a Home Depot that’s just 30 minutes away. Oh yeah, and there’s that thing called the internet, which is closely related to those things called the post office, FedEx, and U.P.S. Believe me, I have a credit card and I’m not afraid to use it.
Right now, my husband and I are building a new house. A new house that will require lumber and other supplies. Virtually none of those things came from you, Lowe’s, because my builder doesn’t much like you either. You know why? Because you suck.
I have a spreadsheet with 80+ different items — many of them in multiples — that need to be purchased for my new house. Things like paint, light fixtures, counters, large expensive appliances, and much more. Things that will cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Because you, Lowe’s, suck so much, I’ll be going through that list and substituting every. single. item. that was supposed to come from your store with an option that comes from a different store.
And guess what else? I’m also going to be selling a house in a few months. A house that, while it’s already as cute as a button, will be getting some tweaks and updates in order to make it even cuter. New lights, fresh paint, and more. Things that will cost money. Money that I will NOT be spending at your sucky store.
And, hell yes, I will be getting in my car, driving over the mountain, and going to the Home Depot that is 30 minutes away. I don’t care that gas is almost $4/gallon. It’s worth the drive and the gas money if it means that I don’t have to watch my fellow human beings trying to figure out the fucking self-service registers at your store and then listen to the $8/hour employee try to help them but not actually succeed.
Lowe’s, have I mentioned how much you suck?
Honestly, I can’t believe that no one went on a rampage in your store today. I know I felt like it, but instead promised myself chocolate if I got out of there without smashing a self-checkout register with a hammer.
Plus, I’d really like to avoid jail time. That would suck — almost as much as you, Lowe’s, suck.
In conclusion, Lowe’s I am putting you on notice. Start paying some people to operate all those registers or so help me god I will actually beg the local planning commission to bring Home Depot to my town. Hell, I wouldn’t even care if they built it on the front lawn of Monticello. Even Thomas Jefferson would agree that all men (and women) are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of a register that is staffed by an actual human employee.
Lowe’s, you suck and I hate you.
Bitchily yours,
Jen
I feel that exact same way about Loeb grocery stores. In fact, if you cross out ‘hardware’ in your letter and replace it with ‘groceries’, it would show how I feel too.
i hate lowes and love hd!
I feel your pain, Jen. You had it much worse today, believe me, but today while at Whole Foods, the woman in front of me insisted in trying out (stuffing her face) on every cold cut in the display before she decided on what to get. I was doing the frantic “pushing back and forth” of the stroller, hoping Daughter didn’t freak out before it was our turn.
By the way, I LOVE your pen! I want one so I can write all over stuff too!!!
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! SO been there!
Oh please don’t be so mad at Lowe’s…I’ll give you – that sure is a crappy check-out system. (We have no such thing here in podunk – they don’t trust us. Too easy to steal at self-checkouts.) But Lowe’s is my only decent option. I hate hate hate Menards. They are the K-Mart of Home Improvement. K-Mart before Martha stepped in…
I’d gladly drive a half hour to skip Lowe’s and hit HD. Heck – I drive 5.5 hours to skip Lowe’s and hit HD! : )
Sorry you and your fellow shoppers had such a crappy home improvement experience! If it were 3 hours later here, I’d toast to HD with you…
Amen, Jen! Go to Waynesboro! We hated Lowe’s too. Now that we’re in CT we have a Home Depot, and there is much rejoicing. Don’t forget Meadowbrook and Martin’s on Preston, and there’s always the Habitat store for other stuff. Woo!
Those self checkout must have been created by Satan himself.
I’ve never been to Lowe’s, but Home Depot can be frustrating as well. They always have someone in the regular registers, I will say that for them.
Our Lowe’s has those BUT they are rarely used; we have three registers open at all times, friendly people, and more roaming the halls to answer questions and help. What a difference from yours! I’d hate to shop there, too.
Well said! We are fortunate to a have a really great local hardware store… I think we pay something along the lines of $5 per nail for the convenience, but it’s worth it… that self check out? Great at Fresh & Easy, not so much with lumber.
Our Home Depots are not so great around here. No one’s ever around when you need them.
Next time, just leave everything right where you’re standing and walk out of the store. I’ve done it our Kmart a couple of times. If they can’t be bothered to check you out, I can’t be bothered to buy anything.
I guess the last time I was at Lowe’s, they hadn’t put in the self-check outs yet. But guess what? They STILL sucked. Don’t even think about buying paint there unless you LIKE spending six hours waiting in a poorly organized mob for a Lowe’s staffer to take notice of who is next. I don’t want to guest blog in your comments, but I have had many, many bad experiences with Lowe’s. Meadowbrook Hardware on Preston is awesome for all your small hardware needs.
Amen sister! They do indeed suck. Any store that forces you to use the self check out sucks in fact.
Ugh, I’ve never heard of such horrible service. So weird, maybe it’s just the ones I’ve been to out here, but I’ve had great experiences with them. Just recently had an issue when I realized they were charging me 21% interest on something that was supposed to be 12 months no interest, and I called and with no questions asked, they fixed it. I’m sorry you got such horrible service, I hope they get you a Home Depot soon!
Jen, don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel!
We have Lowe’s and Home Depot across the street from each other and I almost always go to Home Depot.
Unfortunately, in the retail world of sucky economy these days, many stores are barely making payroll. Both of my jobs are working with skeleton crews and 3 car dealerships closed in the past 2 days. I have to work 2 jobs to be able to get 20 hours/week.
I’ve NEVER seen the economy so bad and the middle/lower middle class suffer so much. And I’m old, dammit!
In my family we refer to Lowe’s as “Blows.” So yeah, I totally agree with you.
You know when you watch your friend getting all dolled up for a date with a guy you just know is a jerk? That’s how I feel right now. BEWARE THE HOME DEPOT, I tell you. I could have written your letter, just substituting “Home Depot” for “Lowe’s.”
Seriously, the concept of customer service is dead. Dead, I tell you.
LOVE THIS!!!! Jen, seriously, you need to not pass go, do not collect $200 but email the link to Lowe’s president! This is just awesome!
Yes, Lowe’s does suck. We have had quite a few family members get screwed over by their shoddy delivery men with banged up appliances and trying to scam my grandparents out of money when laying new carpet.
I would rather go to Wal-mart than Lowe’s.
Wow. This is so counter to their ads currently running on TV up here! (where they say they’ve got great customer service). DO send you link/printed letter to the head office and to management at your local store. Change may be possible.
(re self-check outs. I have to say right now I prefer them as the people at the check outs are pretty rough with the food. I had one chick maiden put CANNED GOODS on my bananas and thumped around a bag of apples I was buying. I had to pipe up that *I* was paying for the food and *I* had to eat it even when it was pre-puréed! She just scowled. I should have taken my complaints to management.)
You should print this out, put a stamp on it and send it directly to them. Every time this happens to one of us, we should do the same.
Great letter, Jen.
Pingback: More love notes, part 2 « Jen on the Edge